Tag: writing

Are my arms not long enough, or is my eyesight getting worse?

Are my arms not long enough or is my eyesight getting worse?

I have worn glasses since I turned 20. My favorite pastime in the university’s library’s old book area  finally  took its toll. I always loved reading. I started reading early and as a bilingual child I had a lot of reading material – I had books in two languages to read.

In Haifa, there was a tiny book store that held treasures galore and when my parents took me there to choose a book I was so happy, I usually finished the book by the time we got home.

Libraries were my other favorite place, books , books and more books.

Over the years my library expanded and took a lot of space, I took 3 boxes of books with me when we moved to the USA many years ago.

These days I have a Kindle, but I still go back to my leather bound old Damon Ranyon book every once in a while. There is something magical about a real book.

I always needed glasses for seeing, never for reading. And then something happened in the  last year. My arms got shorter – that is my only explanation for why I could not read  on my cell phone or why it was getting harder to read on the laptop unless I moved them both a little farther from me.

There was no way I needed reading glasses, I am not old!

So I scheduled an Ophthalmologist appointment, and I got the good news and the bad news. The good news- my eyesight was getting better, I really do not need glasses to see. I blame my hearing loss. I had a virus attack my ears six years ago and I lost my hearing.

Losing one sense fixed in a way another sense. My eyesight got better and so did my sense of smell.

The bad news – I need reading glasses.

When I lost my hearing I was in my mid fifties and since I lost it overnight and have to wear hearing aids, I did not see it as a sign of getting older despite everyone telling me stories about their grandmother and her hearing aids.

But reading glasses is something completely different, it is admitting that I am getting older. Not an easy thing to admit even though I know technically that I am getting closer to sixty.

I have a new pair of glasses and it is helping with the reading. But if you ask me it is not the glasses, it is the pilates classes that I am taking that are helping my arms get longer.

The Joy of Making Things That Aren’t Amazing

When I was in elementary school, we had an optional ceramics class. My parents signed me up, and I gave it a try. Unfortunately, ceramics was not really my specialty, but I did make many, many ashtrays. This was back in the 70s, when smoking was still everywhere.

My ashtrays were not particularly good—or even round—but my parents displayed them all over the house, and I was very proud of my artistic capability.

I never took ceramics again, and my crafting and art misadventures continued through adulthood. Every once in a while, I would try something new and quickly discover that my brain does not really function that way, and crafting tends to frustrate me. There has always been a big disconnect between what my brain imagines the outcome should be and what my hands actually create.

This past year, I started looking for a stress-relief hobby and tried a couple of easy DIY crafts. Most of them were… not amazing.

Then I found soap making.

I discovered that I really enjoy making soap. Creating new shapes, colors, and scent combinations is really fun for me—and my soaps are actually pretty!

Soap making became a creative outlet and a great way to relieve stress. As an added bonus, my house smells amazing despite having a dog.

From soap came resin. The mixing and creating process is similar, but my resin creations are not quite as amazing as my soaps—and my house now has more than enough coasters. These coasters remind me of my ashtray-making years. They really are not amazing, but I am still happy to display them around the house and post them on social media.

Our achievements are not always grand or impressive, but we should be proud of them anyway—especially if they make us happy. At the end of the day, that is what really counts.

So let’s agree to display our achievements and our art projects. Who cares if others think they are not amazing? What matters is that we do.

I Do Not Hear, and He Does Not Listen

A deeply personal essay about sudden hearing loss, marriage, and the invisible gap between sound and understanding.

I like to say that my left ear is for decorative purposes only. It holds my glasses and I can put beautiful jewelry in it — beyond that, nothing more. I simply have no other use for it.

Five and a half years ago, I lost my hearing overnight. I went to bed with severe ringing and woke up to silence.

I saw doctors. I had a brain MRI. They found nothing wrong with my brain — contrary to what my husband thinks. I got the typical solution when no clear diagnosis appears: a virus.

I love the virus diagnosis. It encompasses everything and yet explains absolutely nothing.

My left ear has five percent hearing, which in reality amounts to nothing. Hence, decorative purposes only.

My right ear is slightly better — but only slightly. I wear hearing aids. Good, expensive ones. And yet my hearing will never be the same.

I love it when people say, “But you wear hearing aids — can’t you hear normally?”

No. I can’t.

Hearing aids are not glasses. They do not fix the problem 100%. If anything, they sometimes create more noise.

The world is a very loud place. Very loud.

My brain does not always tolerate the constant sound. In loud places, it takes enormous effort to figure out where sounds are coming from and what people are saying. Sometimes I just want to go home, take out the aids, swallow two painkillers, and sit in silence with the migraine that follows.

Those around us who have not experienced this often don’t understand — even the ones who walked through the hearing loss journey with us.

My husband and I were planning dinner with friends. He suggested a restaurant.

“Yes, it’s nice,” I said. “But I can’t hear anything in there.”

“It’s great,” he replied. “I don’t think it’s loud.”

He is lucky I did not hit him.

I looked at him and asked, “Did you not hear what I just said? I am, after all, the deaf one.”

He repeated himself.

“Yes,” I said. “It’s not loud for you.”

For me, the acoustics are terrible. There’s loud music, dozens of conversations, clattering plates — and I hear everything and nothing all at once. I just sit there, feeling like a decoration. Me and my ear.

I explained myself again. I’m not sure he fully understood. But we’re going somewhere else — somewhere that won’t leave me with a migraine and screaming tinnitus.

It’s funny how I do not hear, and he does not listen.

Maybe funny. Maybe a little sad.

26 Pairs of Yoga Pants and a Forced Vacation

There is nothing more fun than getting sick on vacation. Unfortunately, this is not the first time—and probably not the last.

When we went to China, pre-COVID, I came back with a nasty respiratory infection that took three months and antibiotics to clear. In Thailand, again pre-COVID, I had a terrible case of vertigo that completely threw me off. In Hawaii, two months before COVID, I came back with severe bronchitis and almost broke a rib from coughing. And this pattern has just continued through the years.

I am now on a forced vacation. Our workplace goes through a shutdown during the December holidays, and once again, my lungs are not happy. Interestingly, all my symptoms started after getting a flu shot. Coincidence? Maybe.

I had many plans for this shutdown: tidying my home office, planning ahead for 2026 for my side hustles, and going through my closet to donate all the clothes I no longer like or haven’t worn in ages.

Instead, I sat with a cup of tea, a tissue in hand, and felt miserable. Today, I felt a little better and managed to go through one shelf. To my great surprise, I discovered I own 26 pairs of yoga pants. When I told my friend, she asked, “Do you wear them all?”

Of course not, I replied. I wear the same four pairs that are always on top. So six pairs went into the donation pile, three pairs with holes went straight into the trash—without a proper Marie Kondo goodbye. It’s not a lot, but I’m celebrating this small win.

Am I upset that I got sick? Yes. But it did force me to rest and to pause. I watched silly TV shows, videos of my favorite—Nate the Hoof Guy—and took naps. In a way, it gave me permission to slow down.

I still have a couple more days off, and who knows what I’ll accomplish—if anything. And that’s absolutely okay.

The Garage Isn’t Done — But I’m Still Proud

In 2025, I started a mission to declutter. It started well, and I did manage to get through quite a lot. My goal was to have a usable two-car garage by the end of the year. But as of today, the 28th, the garage is still a one-car garage and one cluttered space.

The boxes are still there, the chandeliers we took down are still there, and so is the mess. As I’m writing this, I realize that I am my own worst enemy. Instead of being happy with what I achieved, I’m focusing on the glass being half empty.

Yes, my mission wasn’t completed, but we need to celebrate small achievements sometimes. We cleared one big shelf in the garage and donated many unused items. I finally cleared out the bathroom vanities in preparation for the bathroom remodels we’re planning for 2026 — I even chose the backsplash.

I went through all the prescription and over-the-counter medications in the house and tossed the expired ones. I also sent all the GLP injections I had to the proper disposal area.

I looked through my makeup, tossed the old products, bought some new ones (of course), and simplified my already simple routine.

We also made progress in our living room. We got a new sofa, built a cute corner library, and started working on the plants we love in that space. It’s not finished yet, but it’s getting there.

This year included both great events and challenges that affected our progress. Our middle child got married, and shortly after, my husband had a seizure. That put all decluttering on pause as we tried to understand what went wrong and adjust to our new lifestyle.

For 2026, my goal is to continue this mission — to reclaim a quarter of the garage and finish working on the office and all the paperwork stored in boxes. I’m trying to keep my goals manageable by breaking them into one small assignment per week. I’ll plan ahead, write everything down, and track my progress. And if I don’t complete everything, that will be okay too.

Here’s hoping 2026 brings fewer challenges and more balance.

 Choosing Purpose Over Pay

I choose to live my life with purpose and joy—and that choice extends to my work.

I worked eleven days in a row again—not by choice, but by necessity. Part of it was for my division, and part of it was for our parent company.

As my direct boss kept pointing out, “You’re not getting paid extra for this—why are you doing it?”

I’m an exempt employee, so in reality, it doesn’t matter how much I work. I could work two hours or twenty-four in a day, and my salary would stay the same. Maybe my bonus will be bigger, but I don’t have high hopes for that.

Yes, I wasn’t paid extra for this assignment. But I’m at a stage in my life—and my career—where I care deeply about having interest in what I do. I outgrew my current job years ago and chose to stay because it gives me flexibility. That flexibility allows me to take care of my two other loves (besides my husband and kids): my dog and my Pilates class. It also gives me the freedom to manage my side hustles.

When my boss mentioned—again—that I shouldn’t be working for another division because I wasn’t getting paid, I was taken aback. It wasn’t the response I expected, especially from someone in management.

I later told my husband how everything went down, and he pointed out that her reaction reflected her perspective, likely shaped by her own issues with management, and was not a reflection of my actions.

He was right, of course. I might even tell him that one day.

In the meantime, I’ll continue carving my own path at work—choosing projects that bring me joy and fulfillment—until the day I decide to retire and turn my side hustles into my full-time focus.

Navigating Health Challenges: A Journey with the Passenger Prince

The Passenger Prince and the Scissors

My Passenger Prince woke up this morning with a spring in his step and went straight for the scissors — gladly, and with purpose. Such great enthusiasm for scissors hasn’t been seen in our family since he cut the umbilical cord for each of our kids.

The Prince had been tethered to an EEG machine for the last three days on our never-ending quest to figure out what happened to his brain — and why he had a seizure at fifty-nine.

On Friday, we went to get the EEG machine. The technician placed the electrodes all over his head and wrapped it like a mummy. Luckily, it was Halloween, so at least for a day his appearance didn’t draw any strange looks.

The Prince was confined to the house under strict instructions: no showers, no sweating. One day was meant to be an easy “just-watch-TV” kind of day; the next was supposed to “engage his brain.” So, I found some math quizzes online and left them for him. He also started a puzzle that will never be completed and tackled a few brain teasers to keep those neurons firing.

My Passenger Prince is usually on the move, so keeping him confined was no small feat.

Three nights of a camera observing him sleep added to the “fun” — for both of us. He had a hard time sleeping with all the cables, and I had a hard time sleeping with the camera’s night-light mode glowing in the room. I like to sleep in complete darkness.

We are both tired — him from the uncomfortable sleep, and me from the lack of it. We do have a guest room with a perfectly good bed, but it’s not our comfy bed, and so we endured.

And now, we wait again. Ten days until we get the results, and then another neurology appointment to see what’s next. Maybe this time, we’ll get some answers.

Until then, we’ll keep going — and “enjoy” our daily drives, grateful for small comforts and hopeful for clarity ahead.

They Found Me. My Dog’s Still Free.

I recently had to change a picture on my blog—not because of copyright issues, but for privacy reasons.

It was an old photo of me, one I really liked. It showed my face clearly, and it was a genuinely good picture. But the thing is, I’m a private and somewhat shy person. I work in a customer service role, and most of our customers live in the same area I do. That means I often run into them—at the gym, the grocery store, out walking the dogs, or even at dinner.

I try to stay as under-the-radar as possible: hat, sunglasses, sitting in the back, and minding my own business. Still, people have stopped me in public before to ask work-related questions. I usually manage to steer the conversation away, but there was one time a parent stopped me in the feminine product aisle at Target, with her teenage son, to ask me about work. My daughter, a teen at the time, and the boy were both so mortified that it was honestly kind of hilarious.

Recently, my anonymous pseudonym somehow ended up on corporate’s radar—again. There’s no mention of my name, employer, or location on the blog, but corporate still managed to find it. They didn’t like what I wrote. Ironically, they didn’t dispute anything I said; they just wanted me to know they were watching.

So this past weekend turned into a whirlwind of blocking people on social media, locking down my LinkedIn (which doesn’t even list my employer), and generally trying to cut off access to “Big Brother.” Unfortunately, that meant taking down the really good picture of myself, too.

The silver lining? My dog’s profile is still public.

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#OutsideOfOfficeHours#NotAtWork#FoundByCorporate#LifeBeyondWor#BlogLife
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