Working – Schpilkes The Blog

Choosing Purpose Over Pay

I choose to live my life with purpose and joy—and that choice extends to my work.

I worked eleven days in a row again—not by choice, but by necessity. Part of it was for my division, and part of it was for our parent company.

As my direct boss kept pointing out, “You’re not getting paid extra for this—why are you doing it?”

I’m an exempt employee, so in reality, it doesn’t matter how much I work. I could work two hours or twenty-four in a day, and my salary would stay the same. Maybe my bonus will be bigger, but I don’t have high hopes for that.

Yes, I wasn’t paid extra for this assignment. But I’m at a stage in my life—and my career—where I care deeply about having interest in what I do. I outgrew my current job years ago and chose to stay because it gives me flexibility. That flexibility allows me to take care of my two other loves (besides my husband and kids): my dog and my Pilates class. It also gives me the freedom to manage my side hustles.

When my boss mentioned—again—that I shouldn’t be working for another division because I wasn’t getting paid, I was taken aback. It wasn’t the response I expected, especially from someone in management.

I later told my husband how everything went down, and he pointed out that her reaction reflected her perspective, likely shaped by her own issues with management, and was not a reflection of my actions.

He was right, of course. I might even tell him that one day.

In the meantime, I’ll continue carving my own path at work—choosing projects that bring me joy and fulfillment—until the day I decide to retire and turn my side hustles into my full-time focus.

My life in the driver seat

Our lives changed this year — some for the better, some for the worse. We got a rescue dog. Our middle daughter got married. We gained a son-in-law and a new grand-dog. There were joyful events, stressful ones, and then… there was the moment now forever known as The Great Costco Seizure.

It happened back in August. My significant other — now referred to as the Passenger Prince — had a seizure. Somewhere between the BBQ chicken and the sushi display. I had sent him in to get dog food. He had other plans.

After a seizure, you’re not allowed to drive until a doctor clears you. That takes time — tests galore, appointments galore. And when you’re a two-working-adult household, it also means rearranging schedules, adapting routines, and me stepping into my new role as Warrior Princess — chauffeur, scheduler, and snack-bringer — while he became the ever-regal Passenger Prince.

Some days with the Prince are better than most. We have great conversations… and some less-than-great ones. Lucky for him, he now has me hostage every morning when I take him to work. I get to hear all about investments, the Fidelity and Vanguard accounts, and market fluctuations — again. These are topics we’ve already covered many times, but now, trapped in the car, I get the deluxe version. Normally, I can turn off my hearing aids. But when I’m driving, unfortunately, I need my hands.

Some days are less charming. Yesterday, we went to the dentist together for a couples’ teeth-cleaning date. This morning, I was the driver to the blood test appointment. I was told exactly where to park — which I ignored — and waited in the car while juggling work calls.

He came out with a plain bandage. Apparently, there are no dinosaur-themed bandages for adults.

At this point, I’m seriously considering getting us matching track suits. Warrior Princess and Passenger Prince. Maybe then — just maybe — my life will be complete.

Conversations from the Driver’s Seat

My life as a driver continues—although I got a break yesterday, as my husband had a friend take him to work. That gave me the rare opportunity to sleep in. Well, to “sleep in” until 7:20 a.m., when Shuki, the family dog, decided I’d slept enough.

I needed a driving break—not because driving itself was the problem, but because someone at work decided to stick an early meeting on my calendar. A meeting I couldn’t take from the car because, of course, they needed to see my face.

Not all meetings are productive. This one definitely wasn’t. Not due to lack of preparation or context, but because of the participants.

When we’re faced with change—professional or personal—we’re not always open to it. There’s fear involved: fear of leaving our comfort zones and confronting challenges that force us to adapt. I couldn’t quite understand the strong reaction in that meeting. I saw the big picture. I had already been part of the transition being discussed. So I was surprised by the resistance.

Back in the driver’s seat today, I shared all of this with my husband. He offered a perspective I hadn’t considered: that people often resist change not because they don’t understand it, but because they’re afraid—afraid of having to learn new things, of stepping into unfamiliar roles, of failing.

Driving still isn’t something I enjoy. I much prefer my “passenger princess” role. We’re still waiting on his medical test results, which is why I’ve taken on this new morning routine. But these forced drives have brought one unexpected benefit: the chance to talk. With our opposing work schedules, we rarely get that during the week.

I still get annoyed when he tells me how to drive. But I do appreciate these small, quiet moments we share together.

“Apparently, ‘I’ Is a Problem”

This past week, I was reprimanded at work—verbally, of course. They never put anything in writing.

No, I didn’t do anything outrageous. I sent an email about IT problems in the office. Since the IT guy was scheduled to stop by, I wrote that I needed something fixed.

The horror. Apparently, writing “I need” instead of “we need” is a big enough deal to warrant a call from my boss.

To clarify: the IT problems were specific to me. I was the one whose internet wasn’t working. I was the one using my personal hotspot and personal cell phone to get work done.

Still, my boss looked me in the eye and told me it was inappropriate to write “I.” I asked if she was serious. She was.

But wait—there’s more.

Last month, I got pulled aside because “someone” heard me say I had maxed out my vacation days and needed to start using them. That was apparently gossip-worthy.

This is a pattern. I keep getting spoken to—always verbally, never formally—about things “someone” heard me say.

What’s strange is that this is not a terrible place to work. Most people are kind, helpful, and just trying to do their jobs. But management? That’s another story.

Ironically, my annual review was glowing, and my bonus was great. So, clearly, I’m doing something right. Right?

We even did harassment training earlier this year. It had a section on bullying and toxic behavior. I guess some folks in management skipped that part.

Let me be clear:

Is this nitpicking? Yes.
Is it creating a culture of fear and second-guessing? Absolutely.
Is it starting to feel toxic? More and more.
Am I being targeted? It really feels like it.
Why? I honestly have no idea.

This is a private, family-owned company. I’m not a threat. I’m not gunning for anyone’s job. I just want to do my work, collect my paycheck, and go home to my dog.

When my boss called me about the email, I said what I’ve been thinking: “This feels like harassment.” I asked that future complaints be formal and in writing.

Not holding my breath on that one.

So now I’m wondering:
Do I just show up this week and wait for whatever “someone” says next?
Do I say nothing?
Do I start documenting everything and protect myself?

I don’t know the answer yet. But I do know this: I’m not crazy. And I’m not alone.

No One Gave Me a Dragon

I woke up with a panic attack at 1 a.m. last night. It took me three hours to calm down and fall asleep again. Needless to say, I’m exhausted this morning.
My husband asked me what was bothering me, and it took me a while to figure it out. I had to retrace all my steps from the day before. Eventually, I remembered a conversation I had with a coworker—we were talking about that odd feeling you get when you return to work after a long vacation.
I told him that ever since my husband started his new job, he no longer experiences that “back to work” anxiety. For those of us who dread Monday even after a regular weekend, that kind of peace feels like a distant dream.
My husband was laid off at the beginning of 2024 from one of those massive high-tech companies. It was the kind of job that felt like it would never end—6 a.m. and 10 p.m. meetings with overseas teams, constant Slack pings, nonstop reporting. He didn’t like it, even though the pay was great. Honestly, he was pretty unhappy.
When the layoffs began, they crept closer and closer to his division—until they finally reached him.
It took some time, but he eventually found a new job. It doesn’t come with high-tech pay, but it does come with something better: boundaries. Normal working hours. The ability to mentally switch from work mode to home mode.
He recently returned from a ten-day bike trip in Europe with our son—and went back to work without any stress or anxiety. It’s really nice to see him like this.
Unfortunately, that’s not how things feel for me.
Some days, my work feels like a Game of Thrones episode—but no one is giving me a dragon. And honestly, I really want a dragon.
Office politics aren’t my favorite. Working with toxic coworkers? Even less so. But the worst part is waking up in the middle of the night with a work-related panic attack.
I don’t have the answers yet about what comes next. I need time to think. I’ll figure it out eventually—dragon or no dragon.

#WorkAnxiety #BurnoutIsReal #MentalHealthMatters #WorkLifeBalance #BlogPost #GameOfThronesMood

Why do toxic workplaces exist in the first place?

Is it poor leadership? Bad hiring choices? Or is it simply a case of management being unaware of what’s actually going on?

A friend of mine recently shared a situation that really illustrates the issue. Her boss approached her and said that someone had spoken to a higher-up, complaining that she had prevented them from raising an issue or making a change. This incident, supposedly, happened months ago. No name was given. No date. No written complaint. Just vague hearsay.

Here’s the kicker—my friend wasn’t even involved in the situation the complaint was about. She’s not responsible for the area in question and has no authority over it. Plus, her office promotes an “open door” policy—everyone has everyone’s contact info. So why was this brought up at all, and in such an unclear way?

What upset her most was the lack of clarity and transparency. She couldn’t defend herself because there were no facts to respond to—just a murky accusation floating in the air. Now, she’s left wondering which colleague might be talking behind her back, and whether leadership believes the claim. Trust has eroded.

This, to me, is a perfect example of what toxic environments look like in action—not just overt bullying or blatant discrimination, but subtle moments that breed fear, mistrust, and isolation.

When leadership fails to address conflict with transparency, and instead spreads vague complaints with no accountability, they don’t solve problems—they create them.

Have you experienced something like this in your workplace? How do you think companies can do better?

#ToxicWorkplace #OfficePolitics #WorkplaceTransparency #EmployeeStories #LeadershipMatters #TrustAtWork #WorkLife

You Found My Blog. Here’s What I Think

I write because I love writing, I always did. It is a great hobby that you can take anywhere with you. All I need is a piece of paper and a writing utensil. When I have inspiration you can find my writings on napkins, sticky notes and scribbles everywhere and wherever I am.

I am also a shy introvert, at least this is how I see myself. So all my social media is under a pseudonym not because I am hiding my identity but because I am shy and I value my privacy.

My dogs have a great tik tok and instagram and my public tiktok and instagram are ok as well, both of them do not even have any postings with my face or my name, again I am an introvert who lives her public persona through her dogs and blog.

I post about what I feel like and I write about what I want to or care about, family life, dogs, food, travel and work, yes work. I was told at work recently that corporate did not appreciate one of my blog posts. I found that interesting as I never ever mention where I work and even on my professional work related social media it does not name any of my work places.

They did not dispute what I wrote, but rather did not appreciate it. I typically do not write about anything that I have not written in the employee surveys and yet in those I was ignored. But someone had some spare time on their hands and found a blog that does not mention them or references them in any way on a social media platform that does not even have my name on.

After that first thought the second thought was – is this a veil threat? I do not like to be threatened and I do not like to be censored so I asked and was told no. But still the message that I got was just to know we follow your writing so in actuality it is a threat even if it was not meant that way.

This all goes back to what message you are giving your employees, the message I got was not positive and left a bad taste in my mouth. So if it was meant to be different it was surely handled wrong.

And I will continue writing about what I want, and if I write about my place of employment I promise to not to use its name and hopefully they will not provide me with anything major to write about. However, this is a free country.

So my message to corporate- Since you know who I am, you can always call me. I will be happy to tell you in person what I think and I am always happy to help and you are welcome to use my talents. I appreciate you reading my blog, I earned a big amount of twenty five cents from you going there and am closer to drinking a lava flow on a tropical beach. Feel free to add some likes or comments and for heaven’s sake finally fix the air conditioner.

#CorporateLife #WorkThoughts #RealTalk #OfficePolitics #FreeSpeech
#RespectWriters #VoiceMatters

They Found Me. My Dog’s Still Free.

I recently had to change a picture on my blog—not because of copyright issues, but for privacy reasons.

It was an old photo of me, one I really liked. It showed my face clearly, and it was a genuinely good picture. But the thing is, I’m a private and somewhat shy person. I work in a customer service role, and most of our customers live in the same area I do. That means I often run into them—at the gym, the grocery store, out walking the dogs, or even at dinner.

I try to stay as under-the-radar as possible: hat, sunglasses, sitting in the back, and minding my own business. Still, people have stopped me in public before to ask work-related questions. I usually manage to steer the conversation away, but there was one time a parent stopped me in the feminine product aisle at Target, with her teenage son, to ask me about work. My daughter, a teen at the time, and the boy were both so mortified that it was honestly kind of hilarious.

Recently, my anonymous pseudonym somehow ended up on corporate’s radar—again. There’s no mention of my name, employer, or location on the blog, but corporate still managed to find it. They didn’t like what I wrote. Ironically, they didn’t dispute anything I said; they just wanted me to know they were watching.

So this past weekend turned into a whirlwind of blocking people on social media, locking down my LinkedIn (which doesn’t even list my employer), and generally trying to cut off access to “Big Brother.” Unfortunately, that meant taking down the really good picture of myself, too.

The silver lining? My dog’s profile is still public.

#DigitalPrivacy #OnlineAnonymity #PrivacyMatters #LivingIncognito #BoundariesMatter #OfflineIsOkay #WorkLifeBalance #CorporateCulture
#OutsideOfOfficeHours#NotAtWork#FoundByCorporate#LifeBeyondWor#BlogLife
#WriterLife#PersonalBlog#RealTalk#WritingThroughIt#TrueStory

Broken Hearing Aid? Worse—A Broken Ear

The Only Thing Scarier Than a Broken Hearing Aid

There is nothing more frightening to a hearing aid wearer than a broken hearing aid—or so I thought.

Yesterday, I had severe issues with my hearing aid. I couldn’t hear anything in my left ear. I kept adjusting the settings, raising and lowering the volume. I deleted the app on my phone, reinstalled it—nothing worked.

When my hearing aid doesn’t function, I can always tell. Besides the obvious issue of not being able to hear, my tinnitus gets noticeably worse.

I tried everything: turned the hearing aid off and on, charged it fully, even put in my old hearing aid. That’s when I realized—it wasn’t the hearing aid that was broken. It was my ear.

I had lost all hearing in my left ear.

And that is even scarier than a malfunctioning device. A hearing aid can be fixed. A non-functioning ear? That’s a different issue altogether. Sometimes, even the best technology money can buy isn’t enough.

After that realization, I made an urgent phone call to my audiologist and scheduled a dreaded appointment. Then, I made the mistake of checking with Dr. Google—and that was not a good idea. Dr. Google is very scary.

Work today was a challenge. Not being able to converse or understand what people are saying to you is incredibly isolating. But my coworkers were understanding. They adapted things so I could still work, and I really appreciated that.

Today was not a good day.
I hope tomorrow will be better.

#hearingloss #brokenhearingaid #toughday #phonak

Hearing Aids, Stigma, and My Story

I had an interesting conversation with my mother the other day. She told me about a friend she met for coffee, who mentioned that her husband refuses to wear hearing aids. Apparently, his doctor told him that wearing hearing aids would hurt his brain.

I’m not sure which doctor he saw—because even “Doctor Google” isn’t that misinformed.

I told my mom that he probably doesn’t want to wear them either because of the cost or because of the stigma. For many people, hearing aids still carry the perception that they make you look old. I wear hearing aids myself. I’ve worn them for the past five years, ever since I lost my hearing overnight. I don’t think I’m old—but I guess that depends on who you ask.

When I lost my hearing, it took a few months for my insurance to approve the hearing aids. They’re expensive, and since I have severe hearing loss in one ear and moderate loss in the other, I needed high-quality aids—not the over-the-counter ones. The first pair I got cost nearly $6,000, but I was very lucky: insurance covered the full amount.

I completely understand people’s hesitation when it comes to the cost. Hearing aids are expensive, and the technology changes—and thankfully improves—each year. But for many adults, cost isn’t the only issue. There’s also a stigma. Some people see hearing aids as a sign of aging or weakness. And yes, it’s true that we lose some hearing as we get older. But that’s not the case for everyone.

In my case, my hearing loss was sudden. My ENT told me it was likely caused by a virus that attacked my system. One day, I could hear everything around me. The next day, my world went silent. My life changed forever.

Thankfully, hearing aid technology is incredible now. The devices are smaller, more advanced, and some even come in fun colors. I will never hear “normally” again, and I’ll always need hearing aids to stay productive and connected. But I wear them proudly.

If you’re struggling with hearing loss, don’t let fear, shame, or stigma stop you from getting the help you need. There’s nothing weak or “old” about using technology that helps you live your life fully.

#HearingLoss #SuddenHearingLoss #HardOfHearing #HearingAids #MyHearingJourney #HearingAidUser #BreakTheStigma #LifeWithHearingLoss #DisabilityAwareness