Just life – Page 7 – Schpilkes The Blog

Small Changes, Big Impact – My January Resolutions.

As January 1st approaches, so do the typical New Year’s resolutions. Gyms become packed with people hoping to exercise more and lose weight, and exercise machines and gym clothes are on sale everywhere. However, not every resolution has to be a huge, overwhelming goal that is unlikely to be followed through. Instead, choose a couple of realistic ones—and maybe one big, ambitious goal for fun.

Personally, I avoid setting wild resolutions because my life is already hectic enough. But here are some simple, achievable resolutions I’m committing to for the new year ahead, focusing on my well-being and peace of mind:

Toss out old makeup and check expiration dates.
Beauty products can expire and become ineffective or even harmful. It’s time for a refresh!
Replace those worn-out toilet cleaning brushes.
We all know how grimy these can get. A new brush will keep things fresh!
Go through your home library and donate a few books.
Clear out books you no longer need, and pass them on to a local charity or library to give them new life.
Tackle one junk drawer.
Pick a drawer in your home, clean it out, and organize it. Small decluttering efforts make a big difference.
Commit to one day a month without social media.
Giving yourself a break from screens can improve mental health and foster more meaningful connections.
Reach out to a friend you haven’t heard from in a while.
Life can get busy, but reconnecting with old friends can be refreshing and rewarding.
Meet a friend for a walk or a hike.
Physical activity paired with quality time is a great way to bond while staying active.
Update all your security settings.
Make sure all your accounts have strong passwords, two-step authentication, and up-to-date security settings.
Remember that there is life beyond work.
Balance is key to avoiding burnout, so take time for yourself outside of your professional commitments.
“Buy Flowers for Yourself Once a Week”

Flowers have a way of brightening up any space and boosting your mood. Make it a weekly habit to treat yourself to a fresh bouquet. It’s a simple, inexpensive way to bring beauty and joy into your life—plus, it’s a reminder to take care of yourself!

These resolutions are manageable and focused on improving my everyday life. Feel free to use my goals as a base and adapt to your life and I hope you’ll consider setting your own personal, achievable goals this year!

Apparently, I have a gazillion lipsticks and o don’t even use any of these colors!

An Old Dog, A New Couch, and Social Media: Learning New Tricks

They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. I challenge that saying.
Our dogs were always allowed on the couches—until this past week. After 23 years, we finally bought a new one. We sure needed it. The old one was ratty, my Sagey girl had dug holes in it, and my other half used duct tape to try and fix those holes.

For the past couple of years, my better half kept saying, “Once the dog dies, we’ll get a new sofa.” Well, sadly, my Sagey girl passed away very unexpectedly, and yes, I’m still crying. Yes, she was just a dog, but my heart is still filled with grief daily.

With Sage gone and the sofa looking worse for wear, it was truly time to get a new one. My very choosy partner went to his favorite store’s website and found a sofa he liked—an L-shaped, leather, greenish-blue one.

Sage is gone, but my two grand-dogs are very much alive, very lively, and they love to jump on sofas. So the question became: How do we make sure they don’t climb on the new one? Apparently, you can teach an old dog new tricks, because after a few days, Benjito the schnauzer and Cedar the Australian Shepherd got the message (mostly).

I’m not a huge fan of social media. Sure, I can spend time scrolling through reels and other people’s posts, but I’ve never been particularly invested in it. That is, until my kids challenged me to try it. I opened a TikTok account for Sagey, and to my surprise, it took off—well, not wildly, but good for a mid-century modern-aged woman.

The past year has been a bit difficult. My country is at war, my husband was laid off, and my dog died. It really sounds like a country song, doesn’t it? My brain pretty much shut down. But over the last couple of months, my mind has started to function again. Creativity is flowing, and I decided to dive into learning about social media. I’m learning a lot—watching tutorials, signing up for every class I can find on the subject, and, of course, posting. Not everything I post is great, but I’m learning and improving with every post.

Will I quit my full-time job? No. Am I making money from anything I post? Not yet, but maybe one day. Is it nice to see the “insights” area under my posts say “earned,” even if the number is zero? Absolutely. So, this old dog is learning new tricks, too.

More Than a Birthday: The Power of Friendship and Support

I had a great day yesterday, as my group of friends celebrated a major milestone: one of our own turned sixty! Instead of going out for drinks or dinner—which would have been the easy route—we opted for a day trip. The birthday girl chose the Huntington Library and Botanical Gardens for our special day together.

The Huntington Library had been on my to-do list for years. I’ve lived in the area for the last 30 years and had never made the time to visit. The place is simply beautiful, and on a typical Southern California December day, it was hot—77 degrees in December! We had a lovely time, enjoying a private tour, a delicious lunch, and some good coffee.

But what really made the day special wasn’t just the fact that we were celebrating a birthday—it was the fact that we were together as a group. We’ve been friends for more than fifteen years, and we come from very diverse backgrounds, with different political views, life stages, and experiences. Despite our differences, we manage to celebrate each other and be there for one another.

During the COVID-19 pandemic, we became each other’s “bubble group,” offering support through both happy and difficult times. Luckily, our husbands get along too, which makes everything even more enjoyable!

We make sure to carve out time for each other in our busy lives. We try to check in weekly, and we’ve established our own “headquarters” at a local coffee shop. What makes our friendship work is that, despite our differences, we respect each other’s viewpoints and cherish each other in every other way.

They say that having strong friendships and a solid support system is one of the most important factors for happiness in life, and I truly believe that. Surround yourself with good friends—friends who will be there not only for the good and easy days but especially for the bad ones, and for every milestone you experience along the way.

Laughing at Parenthood: Dreams, Gas Tanks, and Growing Up

I got an angry phone call from my daughter today. Not that this is unusual, but this time it was funny. Apparently, she dreamt that I took her car without telling her, changed all of her settings, and then left it in the middle of the street. I asked her if I also left her gas tank empty, and she said, “No.”

During my kids’ teenage years, when we had only two cars, my car would frequently be returned to me with all the settings messed up and with an empty gas tank. So, hearing her complain about this in a dream felt like semi payback, even if it was just in her subconscious.

I’m thinking of giving her suggestions for future dreams—like leaving the kitchen clean and coming back to find the sink full, or folding and ironing laundry, only to discover it smooshed because someone sat on it. I could also suggest dreaming of empty containers in the refrigerator and pantry, so when she thinks there’s still milk or butter, all she finds is an empty container and is left with black coffee instead.

Social media is full of funny stories and skits about parents getting payback for their kids’ shenanigans once they become adults and parents themselves. And truthfully, it is funny. But watching our kids become adults is a whole different experience.

One of my gym friends showed me pictures of her new grandbaby and mentioned how enlightening it is to see our kids as parents. She said she never knew how her son would be as a dad, and it was awe-inspiring to witness the transition into full adulthood.

I haven’t experienced that yet, but I’m looking forward to it. My middle child is getting married in six months, and I can’t wait to see her as a wife and, eventually, a mother. Oh, and I really can’t wait to hear her complain about the food missing from the fridge and the empty gas tank in her car.

Thanksgiving 2024

Thanksgiving is upon us, a holiday that unites all Americans, regardless of their religious beliefs. It’s a secular family holiday that forces us to pause, look at our lives, and reflect on what we are truly thankful for. The easiest answer when asked what you’re thankful for might be health or money, but sometimes, you have to dig deeper and introspect—even if the answer is something just for yourself.

This past year has not been an easy one for my family and me. My husband was laid off from a big high-tech company, our family dog passed away unexpectedly, my home country has been in the midst of an ongoing war, and my PTSD returned. Truthfully, my heart was broken, and I cried more than I care to admit. Yet, even in the darkest corners of my heart, hope remained—small but steady—and for that, I am thankful.

I am thankful that, after less than a year, my husband found a new job. Reinventing yourself in your late fifties is no small feat, but he did it. I’m thankful that my adult children have found wonderful life partners who truly care for them.

I’m thankful that we managed to survive this difficult year and still found time to take a vacation, despite everything. I’m thankful for all I’ve learned about myself—about my strength, resilience, and abilities. I’m thankful that my imposter syndrome shrank a little this year. I’m also incredibly thankful for the growth and success of my side hustle, which I am working hard to expand next year. It’s exciting to see my M.B.A. skills come to life in my new business venture, and I’ve discovered a new passion along the way.

Despite all the hardships, I am thankful that hope never fully died. It may have flickered at times, but it always found its way back.

Finding Balance When Life Gets Out of Sync

I’m technically on vacation this week—well, a forced vacation, as our office is closed. In my mind, vacation means fun, sleeping in, taking naps, and enjoying good meals. But apparently, my mind and my reality are not on the same page. I haven’t slept in once, and fun seems to be in short supply.

The first day of my “vacation” didn’t involve a flight to Hawaii or a relaxing retreat. Instead, it included a root canal. Yes, a root canal. Working non-stop for seven weeks meant that not only was I exhausted, but I also neglected my health, sleep, and all my appointments. The only thing I didn’t sacrifice was Pilates. I stuck with it, no matter how tired I felt, and honestly, it became my lifesaver.

Don’t get me wrong—I’m all about maintaining a healthy work-life balance. But life circumstances changed earlier this year. My husband lost his high-tech job as part of the massive layoffs happening everywhere, and I became the primary breadwinner. Not only did I take on a regular 40-hour job, but I also had a side hustle. To make ends meet until my husband found another job, I had to pour more energy into that side business.

And so, the concept of work-life balance pretty much flew out the window. In addition to my full-time job that covered health insurance and paid the bills, I dedicated time to building my side hustle. The positive side of this was that I became laser-focused on its development and the direction I wanted it to go. The downside? Exhaustion. Exhaustion to the point where even sitting down to read a short book felt like a monumental effort.

Luckily, my husband has found a new job, and I’m able to worry a little less. But finding that elusive balance again is no easy feat. When you’ve spent so long running on stress, it’s hard to suddenly switch gears and restore equilibrium. My brain has become so accustomed to juggling multiple tasks at once that it doesn’t know how to slow down and regain some semblance of balance and sanity.

Scheduling doctor and dentist appointments is a step in the right direction—at least I’m putting my health first. But it doesn’t necessarily help my mental state. I’m also using this “vacation” to focus a bit more on my side hustle and how to turn it into a profitable business.

Will I manage to get some rest, or at least sneak in a nap during my time off? I’m not sure, but I’ll definitely do my best to make it happen.

Adapting to Hearing Loss: My Personal Journey

At my last Pilates class, my instructor told me that I am quick to follow directions. I didn’t think much of it at first—after all, I’m naturally fast. But as I reflected on it, I realized that my speed isn’t about being prepared. It’s because I can’t hear.

You’d think that losing my hearing, wearing hearing aids, and not enjoying background music in a class would make me slower to follow directions. In fact, it’s the opposite.

I suffer from SSHL, or sudden sensorineural hearing loss, which took away my hearing almost overnight in 2020. It happened during the height of the pandemic, and securing an in-person doctor’s appointment was difficult. By the time I saw an ENT, my hearing loss was permanent.

Losing my hearing isn’t just about the absence of sound; it involves my brain, too. Comprehending what’s being told to me, processing information, and responding appropriately all require more effort and concentration than they did before.

We all cope with losing a vital sense in different ways. Some retreat into themselves, others embrace their new reality, and some, like me, find ways to adapt. After the shock wore off and I realized that my life would never be the same, depression set in. I was consumed with fear about how I would continue living. It’s hard to work in customer service when you can’t hear what people are saying, especially when masks and barriers were mandatory.

At first, I avoided crowds, restaurants, and most social interactions. I thought I was doing the right thing, but in reality, I was isolating myself. As an introvert, I found it strangely comforting to be alone. But then I realized I still enjoyed being around people. So, I developed a kind of “superpower”—anticipating what people were about to say or do. Not being able to hear forced me to watch and observe. I learned to read body language, facial expressions, and subtle cues. In noisy environments, I became a silent observer, finding the smallest gestures fascinating and, oddly enough, entertaining.

When my Pilates instructor complimented me on my quickness, I just smiled. People don’t need to know that my brain is constantly processing, predicting, and observing. It’s my way of adapting to a world I can no longer hear in the same way.

We all have our coping mechanisms, this is mine and I hope that everyone finds their own way.

Barcelona the first 24 hours

Barcelona is a beautiful city, fun, vibrant and full of tourists. I really like Barcelona, it is very celiac friendly and most places have great signs about allergens and lots of gluten free options.

As opposed to Japan, gluten free options are everywhere from fast food to bakeries and restaurants. And the food is great.

Arriving in Barcelona on the other hand was not so great, our flight from Chicago was delayed by an hour and a half and the United Airlines staff at the gate were extremely rude, to the people standing in line and on the announcements about being late. After we finally took off, meals were served, I don’t expect much from airline food, but on this flight there was nothing even to expect. Plain and simple – no gluten free meal at all, nothing whatsoever in what was served. Luckily, I travel with food as I have no expectations. But for any other celiac, flying for 9 hours hungry would have been a problem, sometimes we can buy something to eat at the airport, unfortunately all food places close around 8pm, most of the international flights around us left later and with our delayed flight there was no where to get food for anyone, not just those with food allergies.

Customs in Barcelona was not fun either, only 5 counters were open and it took almost an hour and a half to go through a very long line. The only good thing was that by the time we were done with customs, our suitcases were already waiting for us. We booked a taxi ahead of time and when we saw our delay leaving, we notified the company to let them know. Our driver was a little impatient and kept texting us that he needed to leave. I replied back with updates about our customs situation, and really did not like the constant texting, especially when he knew that our flight was delayed. Leaving the airport with him was like a scene from the fast and the furious, he drove so fast that it was scary and this is for me, who as my husband claims has a lead leg.

Barcelona is working on the streets and updating pavements, everywhere you go there is some construction going on, traffic is jammed and very slow.

Our hotel was in the Gothic center, Hotel Colonial, and I must say it’s location is excellent. Walking distance to everywhere. Even breakfast for a gluten free non pork eater was excellent, with fresh coffee and vegetables. The only issue my family members had with the hotel was the busy street, even at night you can hear everything from outside. I must say that being hard of hearing was a great benefit. We booked the hotel directly and it was cheaper than all the booking sites and their customer service was excellent. Staff was very helpful and eager to help. Rooms are clean and big, towels are human sized and not the tiny ones I am used to in the USA. The hotel provided us with free water bottles on the first day and had fruit in the lobby. Rooms have a mini fridge and there is a small grocery store on every corner plus a coffee shop everywhere.

We booked a tour for Park Gruell ahead of time and also booked the Hop on/off bus ahead of time. I recommend reserving everything ahead, the park was already crowded for our tour at 10.30 and from speaking to the tour guide it gets even busier later in the day. Despite still being early in the tourist season even the hop on/off bus was full and we had to wait for a couple of buses until our party of 9 could travel together.

Barcelona is a great city for walking and I do recommend good walking shoes.

Nothing makes sense

What happens when you lose your hearing? Do you suddenly get a superpower ? A brand new sense or an enhanced one. They say that when you lose a sense, another sense gets stronger to compensate. When I lost my hearing there were no sudden bells, whistles or trumpets announcing my new strengthened alternate sense. Most likely because I could not hear them. Nothing exciting happened, I did not become spiderman and the only superpower I got was the on and off button on my hearing aids. Hence my lovely pair of hearing aids, nice expensive silver colored. Not even a fun blue color to match my eyes.

My sense of smell did increase slightly but I am not sure that this is a good thing considering I have a dog and a grand dog. While I did loose a major sense I did gain observation, not by choice but by necessity. Since I can’t always follow a conversation I started to pay more attention to facial expressions and body language. You learn a lot from watching people and standing on the sidelines. In big crowds and noisy places it is very hard for me to hear, so standing on the sidelines was out of practicality. You see if someone is uncomfortable, happy, deceptive and you start getting a sense of what they actually think and feel from their body language. For me it is still a work in progress to understand everything I see but this is a welcome challenge and a it is little entertaining.

You also learn a lot from looking at people’s faces when they speak to you, surprisingly many are not comfortable with people looking at them directly. Might be that eye contact with humans was lost during the pandemic zoom era. But as a hearing impaired person it is a valuable tool as I am learning to read lips.

My husband would say that despite my new observation skills I still do not pay attention to what he says, but in all fairness I didn’t pay attention before I lost my hearing so technically it’s a habit and not a choice and maybe a tiny superpower. I took me 35 years together to perfect this skill.

Benchmarks or how I became a prune.

A year and a half ago I broke my foot, it was completely my fault as instead of looking where I was going, my eyes were glued to my cell phone and I stepped down a step straight onto my dog’s 3 pronged nylabone and lost my balance. Completely avoidable!

Showering was not fun with a broken foot as I needed to sit in a chair in the shower and where the chair could be positioned meant I could not reach the on/off valve. I am after all what some people call “fun size” or vertically challenged. That meant that my husband had to be around and turn the water off for me. And here lies the problem, he forgot me. He sometimes had to answer work calls or someone pinged him on teams and he just forgot me. He claims he really did not forget, he was just getting around to it, really. While I was sitting in the shower with the water all over me I considered adding a middle name , Prune. You would think that sitting in the warm water is nice, it is, to a point. I managed, god knows how, to get up on one functioning leg, turn off the faucet and get out of the shower while maneuvering the chair to do this. Surprisingly I did not break any other bones in my body or the shower glass door on my way out. There is something to be said about being short in a tall world, I learned tricks and ways to reach.

We are finally remodeling our shower, a shower that is just slightly younger than me but in many ways is stronger than me. After we agreed to compromise and my husband compromised in letting me choose whatever weird tile I wanted, the topic of adding a bench or shelf came up. My husband suggested a bench so the next time I break my foot we will not need to use a chair. My response was, thank you for the vote of confidence but why would you think I am planning on breaking my foot or anything else again? Quiet.

After a while he expanded that we might need to add some support fixtures in the future so a bench is a good idea. Now, it is a good idea as I will be able to put the shampoos and shower stuff nicely on this bench, not exactly what he meant. He suggested we put the bench on one side of the shower and could not understand what my issue was. I explained again that I am short with a very small wing span and will not be able to reach the valve from the bench. Apparently after being together 35 years he never noticed that I am a head and a half shorter than him.

We are currently at a stand still about this great bench, it will be another bench mark in our ongoing relationship.