Tag: life with hearing loss

Why I started blogging

I was asked recently why I am starting a blog, there are many reasons. One of my friends mother passed away recently and when they organized the house later they found notebooks filled with stories and poems that the mom never showed anyone and they decided to publish them after her death, I don’t want my kids to read my notebooks after I’m dead, I want them to see them now, I want the world to see them now,

The other reason was the pandemic, in a way the pandemic made me think about my priorities and what I would like to do in the remaining years that I have. I lost my hearing during the pandemic and that added to my introspection time, I started listening to podcasts while walking the dog and discovered Mike Rowe’s podcast (yes. The Dirty Jobs guy), on several episodes he had his mother Peggy Rowe, Peggy spoke about her road to becoming on the national bestseller list and how she fulfilled her dream and all the ups and downs that led to that and that inspired me to no end.

The other reason that might seem mundane is just a simple quote from Farrah Gray “Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.” that was posted on Linkedin. This post made me stop for a second and  think hard as it  touched a nerve. I have worked for other people all my life, not always were my capabilities appreciated  and when they were I was expected to do more for the same pay while someone else reaped the rewards. Mind you I quit from that company after I saw that my hard work was not appreciated but that belongs to a different post about toxic management. 

All of these reasons plus several others that I did not mention made me think and think hard about how I would like my future to look like, i do not want to miss opportunities or reflect in years to come on how I missed them. I know many of us have the same feelings, especially after the last 3 years we had, at this point in my life I am choosing to forge ahead with a new view – I will not stop myself anymore, I will believe in my capabilities and if ever my bucket list if full  I will simply get a new bucket!

The sound of silence 10/1/22

This morning i got  in the car to go to the gym,i turned on the ignition and the radio started playing and  the song that played was the Sound of Silence. Those who know me are aware that I lost my hearing overnight somewhere in the beginning of the pandemic, I went to bed hearing and woke up to silence, well almost silence, the tinuutis that was bothering me for several days was still there. In the beginning of my hearing loss journey this song would make me cry, cry for the silence, cry from understanding I will not be able to hear again , cry from the need to adapt to a new reality that I did not choose for myself.

Silence has a sound, even quietness has a sound. When I wake up every morning before I put my hearing aids in, the world is silent, kinda, since as the song goes silence does have a sound.

Somedays the silence is difficult, it reminds me of what i can’t anymore and what will never be my normal again, what i have lost and what i will miss in the future. Other times the silence is welcomed. The world is a very noisy place. All this noise causes listening fatigue as hearing with hearing aids is not easy on the brain, it requires extra work and some days my head hurts like no tomorrow. These days the hearing aids are  removed the instant I enter the car and the silence in the car is just what I need. 

My Superpower.

The last couple of years there were many movies about people with superpowers, great fantasy escape movies and I’m sure we all at one point wanted a superpower, it seemed like fun.
But what is our superpower in everyday life, a friend asked me that this week and I had to stop and think as we were talking about our professional life but truthfully we need a power that encompasses all our life,
Listening is a skill, it is not the same as hearing. Listening means you are an active participant in a conversation and yet many mistakenly think that if we hear, we are listening as well.
I thought so as well and then one night I lost my hearing,
 I woke up with just ringing in my ears and nothing else. What no one told me was that hearing aids are not glasses, although I have a very good pair with the latest technology, I don’t hear like before, crowded places are a nightmare, masks are terrible for those of us who are hearing impaired.
But, this forced me to pay attention, it takes a lot of effort to read body language and actually listen to what someone tells you and I gained a superpower! I can’t fly, i can’t change time but i am present and i am a much better listener than before my hearing loss,
My superpower is being present in a conversation, the super power of observation and the ability to actually listen.