Tag: hearing loss

Nothing makes sense

What happens when you lose your hearing? Do you suddenly get a superpower ? A brand new sense or an enhanced one. They say that when you lose a sense, another sense gets stronger to compensate. When I lost my hearing there were no sudden bells, whistles or trumpets announcing my new strengthened alternate sense. Most likely because I could not hear them.   Nothing exciting happened, I did not become spiderman and the only superpower I got was the on and off button on my hearing aids. Hence my lovely pair of hearing aids, nice expensive silver colored. Not even a fun blue color to match my eyes.

My sense of smell did increase slightly  but I am not sure that this is a good thing considering I have a dog and a grand dog.  While I did loose a major sense I did gain observation, not by choice but by necessity. Since I can’t always follow a conversation I started to pay more attention to facial expressions and body language. You learn a lot from watching people and standing on the sidelines. In big crowds and noisy places it is very hard for me to hear, so standing on the sidelines was out of practicality. You see if someone is uncomfortable, happy, deceptive and you start getting a sense of what they actually think and feel from their body language. For me it is still a work in progress to understand everything I see but this is a welcome challenge and a it is little entertaining.

You also learn a lot from looking at people’s faces when they speak to you, surprisingly many are not comfortable with people looking at them directly. Might be that eye contact with humans was lost during the pandemic zoom era. But as a hearing impaired person it is a valuable tool as I am learning to read lips.

My husband would say that despite my new observation skills I still do not pay attention to what he says, but in all fairness I didn’t pay attention before I lost my hearing so technically it’s a habit and not a choice and maybe a tiny superpower. I took me 35 years together to perfect this skill.

Tales from the left ear January 2023

Just because some of us are different does not make us worse than someone else. There are stigmas for being hearing impaired, we are old, we are mentally challenged, we are not as intelligent and we have selective hearing and these are just some of them. 

Hearing aids come in ugly colors, there are no fun ones probably because the manufacturers think that we want to hide them as well. My hairdresser asked if she needed to cut my hair so no one would see them. I don’t hide my hearing aids, I love my hearing aids as they allow me to function but I do wish they were blue or sparkly purple. I dont hide them at all and wear a ponytail most of the time.  I don’t hide my hearing aid but it is not obvious to the general public as mine are small. So when I talk to new people I explain my hearing aids and that you need to look at me when you speak. 

Sometimes people are weird, I had a person then go to my ear and yell straight in my ear, needless to say that this hurt like hell and most likely I will not interact willingly with that person again. The other response I usually get is how did I lose my hearing and when I explain that a virus attacked my ear, they seem to back away thinking this is infectious. Of course I have those who just tell me how sorry they are for me. Again people are weird. People tell me I am very well adjusted for someone with this loss, but then again I am an eternal optimist although even I have my good and bad days.

I am different, I am not better or worse, just different!

Hearing Aids Cost

My left ear has gotten a new hearing aid, I love the new aid. Everything is clearer, it is water proof so I don’t have to panic when I enter the shower or be afraid to walk in the rain anymore. Or even take them off at the beach or pool and not be able to communicate with others while at the beach.

My last couple of vacations were not as easy ever since I lost my hearing. At the beach or the pool, I took the hearing aids off and was disconnected from the world around me. When we went on a boat ride I was so worried they would get wet that I didn’t wear them at all and made sure to put them in a waterproof bag. 

I am glad technology finally caught up and people with hearing loss can function better now in more situations, but the cost of this catching up is a lot. These hearing aids are expensive and insurance companies cover a fraction if they cover anything at all. We are talking between $3000 to $5000 and these aids need to be replaced every couple of years. This is not an expense that is trivial. A friend asked me a while ago what did my husband get me for our anniversary and my reply was new hearing aids.

Unfortunately those with moderate to severe hearing loss can not use the over the counter cheaper aids so that is not a solution. Costco has a nice selection of hearing aids but not from all the companies and not for all the devices available. 

 I believe that just like pre existing conditions were  outlawed from being denied insurance coverage, there needs to be a movement to add hearing aid coverage to regular insurance.  

Being hearing impaired is not a choice, being a kind courteous person is!

I am a member of many hearing loss groups on facebook, when I lost my hearing they helped a lot with not feeling alone and finding someone who understood my struggle of dealing with losing my hearing overnight.

Most days I am good and I believe I have adapted mostly to my current situation, but we all have our bad days. Days when the ringing in the ear is so loud that it does not matter what setting your hearing aid is on , you can hear absolutely nothing. Days where you can not figure out what people are saying no matter what. These are very frustrating and depressing days and can throw you into a loop.

During the pandemic and even today in some places, there was masking all around & plastic barriers made it hard to hear for most humans but for those with hearing loss made it absolutely impossible, add to that the ability to read lips was gone as well and sometimes even the ability to read the facial expression was gone.

These days medical facilities still require a mask. I always make a point to tell the reception that I am hard of hearing and if they can make sure to let the people who will call me to either say my name louder or to approach me when it’s my appointment time. A lot of people are nice and say yes, sure. But when it comes to actuality, they all forget. 

The weirdest place I had that issue was at the ENT/Audiologist office. You would think that in these surroundings they will be more accommodating or understanding. But no! Music was loud on the TV in the waiting room, no closed captions and receptionists with shields who talk to the computer instead of lifting their heads when they speak to you.

Who needs to adapt? The customer service industry or the hearing impaired person? For the hearing impaired there is not much adaptation, it’s not like you can wake up one morning and decide today I shall hear. Even with my very expensive aids, there are times that I have no clue what someone is saying and I am not going to hide under a rock just because I can’t hear anything.

Customer service industry needs to adapt and workplaces need more training on how to intercat and integrate people who have disabilities as they are part of society.  Talking to people while facing them and not staring at your phone or computer should be taught early, this is a social skill that is important in any situation. If anyone asks you to repeat a sentence, repeat it and do not say “ oh, it doesn’t matter”.

Being hearing impaired is not a choice, being a kind courteous person is!

Hearing Aid Costs

I am in the market for a new hearing aid. There is nothing wrong with my current one, I have a top of the line one with bluetooth and some other settings that I never use. I am in the market because there is one big issue with hearing aids – they are not water or sweat proof.

Moisture is not a friend to those of us with hearing aids, moisture of any kind is the enemy, it sucks the battery life and we need to make sure to dry out the aids if they get wet. 

If you want to go swimming, boating or walk in the rain that’s a problem, not only that everytime i get in the shower I immediately touch my ears to make sure I have not forgotten to take them out.

Finally one company created a new aid that is waterproof and that’s what  I am shopping for. As there is only one company that has them you probably ask what’s there to shop for, it’s not like i have other options. And here lies my conundrum, my insurance covers aids. I am lucky as most companies do not, however the amount that they cover is not enough for the top of the line model so i have to compromise and choose a lesser quality level. I am lucky that not only do I have some insurance coverage I can also cover the difference between the insurance and the actual cost of the device. But what happens to those who do not have any coverage but can not cover the difference or any device at all. 

Why are those with hearing loss expected to function without aid? Losing your hearing is not only a function of age, many in my support group are young productive adults who have many years ahead of them. Hearing aids do not last forever, they deteriorate and need replacing every couple of years.

Hearing aids are expensive, good hearing aids are very expensive. Insurance coverage is questionable, some do not cover any cost and some cover a little. Most insurance companies cover only a fraction of the true cost. Last week over the counter hearing aids were approved, however hearing aids are not reading glasses, there is no one size fits most. We all have different needs and different settings and one ear is not like the other ear. So even though it is good that they are available over the counter this is a solution only for those who have minimal hearing loss and not for those with moderate to severe hearing loss.

Losing your hearing is not only a function of age, many in my support group are young productive adults who have many years ahead of them. Hearing aids do not last forever, they deteriorate and need replacing every couple of years.

Being a productive citizen and contributing to society is important, having a job is important, being able to participate in everyday life is important, and the ability to hear is a big and integral part of this. Those with hearing loss like me want to have the freedom to choose our professions or to interact with society and the ability to have a good quality hearing aid is an integral part of this. Approving over the counter hearing aids is one step but not the answer. Lowering prices of the aids,encouraging research, competition, creating more companies  &  requiring insurance to cover them is the answer.Why are those with hearing loss expected to function without aid?

Why I started blogging

I was asked recently why I am starting a blog, there are many reasons. One of my friends mother passed away recently and when they organized the house later they found notebooks filled with stories and poems that the mom never showed anyone and they decided to publish them after her death, I don’t want my kids to read my notebooks after I’m dead, I want them to see them now, I want the world to see them now,

The other reason was the pandemic, in a way the pandemic made me think about my priorities and what I would like to do in the remaining years that I have. I lost my hearing during the pandemic and that added to my introspection time, I started listening to podcasts while walking the dog and discovered Mike Rowe’s podcast (yes. The Dirty Jobs guy), on several episodes he had his mother Peggy Rowe, Peggy spoke about her road to becoming on the national bestseller list and how she fulfilled her dream and all the ups and downs that led to that and that inspired me to no end.

The other reason that might seem mundane is just a simple quote from Farrah Gray “Build your own dreams, or someone else will hire you to build theirs.” that was posted on Linkedin. This post made me stop for a second and  think hard as it  touched a nerve. I have worked for other people all my life, not always were my capabilities appreciated  and when they were I was expected to do more for the same pay while someone else reaped the rewards. Mind you I quit from that company after I saw that my hard work was not appreciated but that belongs to a different post about toxic management. 

All of these reasons plus several others that I did not mention made me think and think hard about how I would like my future to look like, i do not want to miss opportunities or reflect in years to come on how I missed them. I know many of us have the same feelings, especially after the last 3 years we had, at this point in my life I am choosing to forge ahead with a new view – I will not stop myself anymore, I will believe in my capabilities and if ever my bucket list if full  I will simply get a new bucket!

The sound of silence 10/1/22

This morning i got  in the car to go to the gym,i turned on the ignition and the radio started playing and  the song that played was the Sound of Silence. Those who know me are aware that I lost my hearing overnight somewhere in the beginning of the pandemic, I went to bed hearing and woke up to silence, well almost silence, the tinuutis that was bothering me for several days was still there. In the beginning of my hearing loss journey this song would make me cry, cry for the silence, cry from understanding I will not be able to hear again , cry from the need to adapt to a new reality that I did not choose for myself.

Silence has a sound, even quietness has a sound. When I wake up every morning before I put my hearing aids in, the world is silent, kinda, since as the song goes silence does have a sound.

Somedays the silence is difficult, it reminds me of what i can’t anymore and what will never be my normal again, what i have lost and what i will miss in the future. Other times the silence is welcomed. The world is a very noisy place. All this noise causes listening fatigue as hearing with hearing aids is not easy on the brain, it requires extra work and some days my head hurts like no tomorrow. These days the hearing aids are  removed the instant I enter the car and the silence in the car is just what I need. 

My Superpower.

The last couple of years there were many movies about people with superpowers, great fantasy escape movies and I’m sure we all at one point wanted a superpower, it seemed like fun.
But what is our superpower in everyday life, a friend asked me that this week and I had to stop and think as we were talking about our professional life but truthfully we need a power that encompasses all our life,
Listening is a skill, it is not the same as hearing. Listening means you are an active participant in a conversation and yet many mistakenly think that if we hear, we are listening as well.
I thought so as well and then one night I lost my hearing,
 I woke up with just ringing in my ears and nothing else. What no one told me was that hearing aids are not glasses, although I have a very good pair with the latest technology, I don’t hear like before, crowded places are a nightmare, masks are terrible for those of us who are hearing impaired.
But, this forced me to pay attention, it takes a lot of effort to read body language and actually listen to what someone tells you and I gained a superpower! I can’t fly, i can’t change time but i am present and i am a much better listener than before my hearing loss,
My superpower is being present in a conversation, the super power of observation and the ability to actually listen.