Facing Reality: My Journey from Out-of-Shape to Reclaiming My Fitness”

Today I discovered that I am an out-of-shape middle-aged woman. I knew I was middle-aged, so that was not really a surprise. The “out of shape” part, however, kind of threw me for a loop.

I started seeing a cardiologist, as it was suggested to me that, at my advanced age, I need to establish a relationship with one. It was a suggestion I listened to and actually followed through on.

I met with the cardiologist, took a heart calcium scan, and had a stress test performed. I walk almost eleven thousand steps a day, do Pilates Reformer three times a week, eat a mostly healthy vegetarian diet, and I’m usually on the move even at work. I also lost almost thirty pounds this past year. So, I thought I would do great on the stress test—alas, I was wrong.

I used to hike a lot. I climbed all the way to the top of the Moon Pyramid in Mexico when it was still allowed, did part of the Great Wall of China, and climbed all the way up to the Pantheon on Lindos, just eight months after breaking my leg. This past summer, I biked for fourteen miles in Alaska—downhill, but I think it still counts! But apparently, all of this wasn’t enough. I am out of shape.

Naturally, I questioned this, and according to the experts, I’ve been neglecting my cardio. I thought that walking was cardio, but apparently, it’s not enough—at least not for my body.

So now comes the proactive part: how do I improve my sad state of cardio without killing myself and still enjoy it? This is a really tough question, as I hate going to the gym. I really do. I also hate running; I firmly believe that running can be uncomfortable for those of us with larger chests—it’s just not pleasant.

I already do Reformer Pilates, but that’s focused on core strength. Now, the cardio part needs to kick in. My middle child is getting married, and there’s hope for grandkids in the future, so getting in shape is a priority. The big question is: exactly how?

When I was younger, I loved biking, so I guess I’ll be biking once again. I think short hikes—with and without the dog—are destined for my future as well. And I believe I’ll also add at least one great date a week with the elliptical at the gym.

I’ll continue being middle-aged, at least for a while, but that won’t stop me from getting back in shape.

The Oscars, Celebrities, and My Inner ‘Old Lady’ No Filter

I didn’t watch the Oscars last night—honestly, I’ve never watched any award show. I find them pretty funny, in a way. It’s a bunch of people voting for themselves, giving out awards that in real life no one really cares about.

Sure, I’m sure it’s nice to see some fancy dresses, but as a woman who hates uncomfortable clothes, I really couldn’t care less about the outfits. And the speeches? Don’t get me started. The winners stand up and give these pretentious speeches that I just can’t be bothered with.

Movies aren’t my passion. I don’t have the patience to watch anything that lasts more than an hour, and even then, I’m only able to do so if I’m multitasking—like folding laundry. In fact, the only movies I’ve watched in the past couple of years were on planes. I was literally held captive 30,000 feet in the air with nothing else to do.

Honestly, all these award shows and the obsession with what actors have to say feel like a little bit of idol worship. And in my opinion, these are really false idols. Just because someone is on TV or in a movie doesn’t mean they have anything meaningful to say or offer.

Maybe this is because I’m getting older and losing patience with pretentious people, or maybe it’s just that my inner “old lady” with no filters is finally emerging. Either way, I’m starting to embrace it. Honestly, it’s kind of liberating.

Who Saved Who? My Journey with Shuki and the Power of Patience

Patience is not a strong virtue of mine. In fact, I’m pretty sure I don’t possess such a trait. I’m one of those people who need things done yesterday, even if the idea just crossed my mind three seconds ago.

We adopted a rescue dog several weeks ago, and we have no knowledge of her age or past, other than the fact that she was malnourished, neglected, and abused. With rescue dogs, there’s the 3-3-3 rule: you need a lot of patience. The first three days, the dog decompresses from the transition. The next three weeks, the dog settles into its new routine. And around three months, the adopted dog truly settles in and understands they are safe. Of course, every dog takes their own time and behaves a little differently. But the key to a successful adoption is providing a safe environment, training, and—most importantly—patience.

Patience. Again, not one of my strong suits, but in this case, a necessity. Shuki, the Airedale, has been with us for almost six weeks now. It took time for her to realize that I am safe and won’t harm her. In the beginning, she was afraid of even my smallest movements. She ate her food like a vacuum at light speed. She learned her name, responds to it, and is getting better and stronger every day.

Some days feel like the movie 50 First Dates—every morning, it’s like we’re starting the bonding process from scratch, even though she’s been with us for weeks. Unfortunately, like the movie, I can’t ask her to relive the past through a highlight reel of her last six weeks.

And once again, patience is needed. You often see bumper stickers with the saying “Who saved who?” I’m learning that this is true. Shuki is learning to trust, and in return, she’s teaching me the invaluable lesson of patience—something I never thought I’d master at my age. For that, I am grateful.

February Goals – Breaking Down My Yearly Goals

January came and went, and I discovered that breaking down my yearly goals makes them much more achievable. So, I’ve decided to break my goals down by month to make my life easier. Most of my goals will be simple, but one or two will be those annoying, yet necessary, tasks. Feel free to use some of mine, and let me know how they worked for you!

My February Goals:

  • Clean another junk drawer – I find it easier to tackle one small drawer at a time rather than deciding on a complete declutter of the house.
  • Buy some new plants for the house – Buying new plants makes me happy, even if I don’t always succeed in keeping them alive.
  • Go through all the keys I have lying around the house and on my keychain – I have keys from old cars, offices, and mailboxes, and I’m not sure where or to whom they belong.
  • Make an art project out of all the useless keys I find – This just sounds like fun! Instead of throwing them away and contributing to pollution, I’ll turn them into art—even though I’m not the best artist.
  • Update my financial goals for the year – Check for any changes to contribution limits for 2025 and adapt my weekly deposits to match. The federal government updates contribution limits every year, and it’s crucial for me to maximize my retirement contributions, especially since I’m in my late fifties.
  • Go to an art museum and see an exhibit for fun – Who knows, maybe I’ll discover something I actually enjoy! I’m not a big museum enthusiast, but getting out of my comfort zone is important.
  • Try making rice pudding – I love rice pudding but have never made it at home, so it’s time to give it a try.
  • Update my resume and LinkedIn profile – Not because I’m job hunting, but because I’ve acquired new skills, and it never hurts to have an updated resume ready. You never know when an opportunity might pop up!
  • Clean my medicine cabinet – Check for expired products and refill what’s needed.
  • Update my car’s first aid kit – I haven’t done this since my last car, so it’s about time.

Do you set monthly goals too? How do you break down your yearly goals to make them more manageable?

Starting Fresh: A Rescue Dog’s New Beginning and Ours

Our house has been very quiet the last 6 months since we lost our previous dog. The house was quiet, no dog toys everywhere, and my daily step count plunged. We were on a walk last week, talking about the possibility of getting a new dog. Little did we know, fate would intervene quickly—the very next morning, we found a dog looking for a home, and after applying, we welcomed our new girl.

Our new girl came from a rescue, and no one knows how old she is. All we know is that she was neglected and was looking for a loving forever home. Our previous dogs were puppies when we got them, so adopting a rescue is a new experience for us.

There is a 3-3-3 rule when you adopt a dog: it takes 3 days for the dog to decompress, 3 weeks to learn the household routine, and 3 months to fully settle in. We are on day 6, and she is starting to settle in—getting used to our routine, to us, to the neighborhood, learning some basic commands, and even starting to respond to her name (which she never had before).

As she is getting acclimated to our house and to us, we are also learning about her. This takes patience. Patience to follow her lead as she gets more comfortable around us, and patience for us in training her. Patience isn’t just necessary—it’s great. But not everyone is naturally patient. I’ll admit, I’m the type who wants things done yesterday. In a world where we get instant gratification from likes on social media and next-day Amazon deliveries, waiting for certain things can feel unnatural. But she is teaching me to stop focusing on her behavior, to follow her lead, and to be patient as she gets used to us.

She is also teaching me to manage my expectations. With puppies, you grow and train together. But with a rescue, the dog comes with its own set of experiences—good or bad training, and perhaps habits that need to be unlearned or reinforced. It’s not about lowering my expectations, but rather adjusting them to what’s realistic for the dog we’re adopting.

Our girl got a new lease on life and is getting a brand new beginning, and just like her, we can also start a new path and reinvent ourselves.

How to lose your employee’s faith in the workplace   with one small step.

“I did not receive my paycheck today—not because I didn’t work or fail to submit my timesheet on time, but due to poor planning from headquarters and, frankly, a lack of respect for employees.

Our company has been going through restructuring, and it’s clear that the payroll process has changed. Typically, we receive our pay via direct deposit every other week, and this has never been an issue. However, this time, there was no advance notice that the payroll process would change.

With no communication about the changes, many of us were surprised today when our pay was not deposited. Instead, we found out through a system notification that paper checks are being mailed. After checking with USPS, I know my check won’t arrive today, and with Monday being a federal holiday, I don’t expect it to arrive then either. This delay has left many of us scrambling to manage our finances, and the lack of notification has only made the situation worse.

Proper planning and communication would have helped employees prepare for these changes. A simple email informing us of the switch, or even a down payment to help bridge the gap, would have made a big difference.

This situation raises some important questions:

  • Is this poor planning on management’s part? Absolutely.
  • Is this a sign of disregard or disrespect for employees? I believe so.
  • Will this affect employee morale? Without a doubt. When employees feel uninformed and unsupported, trust in leadership erodes, and so does faith in the company’s management.

This is particularly disappointing because I genuinely enjoy working here, but now I’m questioning the direction we’re heading. I hope management takes these concerns seriously and works on improving communication and employee support moving forward.”

Taking Time Off: My Vacation Insights

Things I Learned from My Last Vacation

I took my vacation during winter break and went to Maui, where I had a lot of fun. It did take me two or three days to decompress and finally relax. I work long hours, typically over 40 hours a week, and usually work six days a week in some capacity.

But what really hit me was when I went to put my vacation days on my timesheet and discovered that, even with my week off, I still had five more weeks of vacation available to me. This wasn’t because my employer offers generous paid time off—quite the opposite. It’s because even when the office is officially closed, someone always has to be on call. Apparently, I’ve been that person for the last several years, even though I never volunteered for the role.

The funny thing is, there’s really no reason for anyone to be on call during our breaks. My job is one of those where, when we’re closed, there’s nothing to do—no urgent emails to answer or tasks to tackle. Yet, someone at headquarters decided that there always has to be an on-call person. Unfortunately for me, only a few people can fill that role.

I was asked to be the on-call person during the second week of our office break and also to take on a specific project—one that could easily be handled during our regular work weeks and didn’t require extra time from me, as I’m usually ahead on all my assignments. So when I came back from Maui, it dawned on me that I really needed this time off, and there was no reason for me to take on this extra project. I decided to continue my vacation. Even though I was technically the on-call person, I only handled the “urgent” matters (which, by the way, were nonexistent) and limited my work to what was absolutely necessary.

When everyone returned to the office, my boss asked if I had completed the project. I simply said no. This will be handled during regular work days and hours. Just like everyone else, I took my well-earned break and used my vacation days. If you’re wondering whether I was disciplined or reprimanded, I wasn’t. Sometimes, lightning strikes, and even headquarters realizes their requests are unreasonable.w

So, what did I learn?

It’s okay to say no when work intrudes on time off. I’ve learned that I need a better work-life balance—not only because my employer doesn’t appreciate or reward me for it, but also because I need it for my own sanity. It’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking, “I’m needed at work,” but that’s a bottomless pit with no real rewards. Work-life balance is a must, as are vacations and time off. They’re essential for both productivity and mental well-being.

I’m already penciling in my time off for 2025 and will make sure to follow my own advice.

“Still Deaf, Still Together: Navigating Marriage with Hearing Loss”

Had a Great Conversation with My Husband

This morning, I had a great conversation with my husband. I was still lying in bed, while he was getting dressed in the walk-in closet. What made this conversation truly memorable, however, was that I was without my hearing aids. He was talking to me from beyond a wall, and I could only hear sounds, not words—kind of like the Charlie Brown cartoons, where all you hear is noise instead of actual speech.

I kept telling him I didn’t have my hearing aids in yet, but apparently, even with his excellent hearing, he couldn’t hear me. So, when he finally came into the room, I calmly looked at him and said, “You know, I’m still deaf.”

With my hearing aids in, I can hear quite well, but there are still limitations. I can’t hear well from the other side of the house, or beyond walls, and occasionally, in a noisy room or crowd, I can get a bit lost. I can usually follow most conversations, and my brain fills in the gaps for what I miss. But there have been times when my brain got it wrong, and I completely misunderstood what was being said—or agreed to something I would never have if I had heard the conversation clearly. Thankfully, nothing I agreed to in those moments was anything too crazy.

My hearing loss is not new to my husband. He was there when I lost my hearing overnight, four and a half years ago. He stood by me when I was scared about navigating a hearing world, feeling overwhelmed at social gatherings because I couldn’t understand what people were saying. He was there when I fought with our health insurance company to get my hearing aids covered and when I had to adapt my entire life to my new reality without a crucial sense.

Yet, despite all of this, my husband—who’s been with me through every step of this journey—still sometimes forgets that I can’t hear a thing without my hearing aids. It can be frustrating in a marriage, but luckily for him, I have a sense of humor (most of the time).

Maybe it’s because I lost my hearing that we’re still together after almost thirty-five years. After all, I don’t always hear what he says—the good or the bad.

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#HearingChallenges

Start Your Day Right: The Power of Making Your Bed

I saw something interesting on my TikTok feed this week: an inspirational speech by Admiral William McRaven. Although it was an old one, it still resonated with me. McRaven said, “If you want to change the world, start by making your bed.” My first reaction to this was, huh? As a young adult, I always argued with my mother about making the bed. I never understood the point of it, especially if I was just going to mess it up again later. I hated making my bed, and I’m not even sure why I kept arguing about it.

But then, McRaven explained that making your bed in the morning is the first task you accomplish of the day. It’s a simple, basic task, but it’s a completed task nonetheless. When you start your day by completing just one thing, it sets the tone for accomplishing more throughout the day.

Often, when we decide to make huge changes in our lives—especially around New Year’s—we aim for something big without breaking it down into smaller, achievable steps. And when we can’t figure out how to tackle it, we give up. Many people say they want to organize their house this year, but that’s such a big, vague task that most give up by the second week of January. If we instead commit to organizing one drawer each month, it becomes more achievable and easy to manage. We often say we’ll lose weight or enroll in a gym, but forget to break our exercise routines into small, manageable steps.

Life isn’t always about the end goal, but about how we reach it. We need to write down our plans, break them into smaller steps, and focus on accomplishing those.

So, start your morning by making your bed. It doesn’t need to be perfect, but seeing that one small task completed will give you the motivation to continue. I know it always makes me feel happy and ready to take on the day.

Living with a Height Difference: Shelf Life Struggles

We are a house divided, but not by sports teams or political views. It’s something far more concrete—our height—and, more specifically, where we place things on shelves.

I’m what you might call fun-sized, or, as others might say, petite, vertically challenged, or short. My other half, however, is above average height—at 6’2″, we literally have a whole foot of difference between us. I’ve been short all my life, so this was hardly a surprise to him when we got married.

I used to wear heels—heck, I could even run in them. But in the last 30 years, things have changed. Since having kids, I swapped stilettos for sneakers. Playgrounds, strollers, and dog walking are much easier in flats!

Now, my taller half prefers everything to be placed higher up. As for me? I constantly need a step stool just to reach anything. I’ve developed a rather uncanny ability to use everyday utensils to grab things from high shelves, but let’s be real—I’d much rather have everything within reach.

I always thought it was easier to bend down than to reach up, but I might have been wrong. He can never seem to find anything that’s at my eye level. Meanwhile, I’ve learned that shelves at my height are the perfect place to hide things in plain sight from him.

I really tried to compromise. I moved some everyday items to a taller shelf, but that didn’t seem to solve the problem.

Yesterday, he complained about not finding anything because I’d put all the common items on lower shelves. I reminded him, jokingly, that I’ve always been short. He didn’t have a response. Guess there’s no winning when it comes to height!