Gluten Free trip to Japan – Part 1

I am a Celiac who loves to travel, this is not always easy especially when I travel to countries that love wheat. I returned from a trip to Japan last week and yes, I was hungry. For me being a GF with a mostly vegetarian diet was not easy, I also avoided pork for religious reasons which made my trip a little harder.

This was part of an organized group tour so I did not have an option to cook for myself. Thankfully, all the hotels had a refrigerator so I had somewhere to keep yogurt and fresh produce that I bought at the convenience stores.

Japan loves gluten, gluten is in many products. The hotels we stayed at (3 star budget hotels) all had their breakfast clearly labeled with all allergens which helped immensely. As I mentioned before, Japan loves gluten, which is why I could not even eat the eggs at breakfast as they had gluten in them as well, still for the life of me I can’t figure that out.

I researched my food options before we left and knew what to expect mostly. There is an excellent group on Facebook called Gluten- Free Expats Japan. The group has many posts and tricks on how to figure out what and where is safe to eat and has a list of restaurants and recommendations that were extremely useful. I also carried a GF card and used google translate during the trips as many Japanese did not speak English.

In the suitcase I took bread with me, several GF brands like Schar and BFree have vacuum sealed smaller bread packaging and GF instant oatmeal, granola bars, GF soy sauce packets and my favorite chocolate covered rice cakes from Sprouts (trust me, they are so good it’s scary). Convenience stores are on every block in Japan, this is also excellent as they all have clean bathrooms and trash cans, there are no public trash cans anywhere on the streets and you need to carry the trash with you. 7-11, Lawson’s and Family mart are everywhere. In them I bought drinkable yogurt, rice snacks and onigiri. I did research beforehand what onigiri I can eat and went to our local Mitsuwa ahead of time to get familiarized. In Japan, packaging is labeled with all allergens, however not always in English and you need to recognize the Japanese symbol for wheat. Most of the 7- 11 rice and potato snacks had English wording and that made it easy for me and now I am addicted to the waffle potato ones, they are so good and not greasy.

The only reason I did not starve completely was the many Indian and Nepalese restaurants we found, we always found an English speaker in them so my allergies were easy to explain and for me this food is mostly safe and usually Halal so pork free. Using the restaurant lists we also found a great ramen place with gf ramen in Tokyo Station, Soranoiro Ramen. This was a complete joy for me as all my group could eat together and not look at my sad eyes while they ate dinner and I was stuck with plain rice and edamame.

The dreaded feeling of returning to work after vacation.

Vacations are good, in fact vacations are great. Most of us had a couple of days off for Thanksgiving last month, some of us even extended to add a couple more days to get a longer vacation and soon enough we will have, at least in the USA, our winter break.

The vacation part is great, the problem is when we get back to the office after this vacation. A million emails, problems that occurred while we were gone and god knows what fires that need to be put out when we get back.

Some of us hate going on vacation or avoid the vacation for exactly this reason – the returning to work anxiety. Is this normal? Apparently it is and even has a name – Post Holiday Syndrome. A Zapier/ Harris poll from August 2020 found that 87% of us have this issue. This is not just post vacation depression, this has to do with catching up on missed work, tons of emails and phone calls we will need to tackle when we are back, fixing other peoples mistakes when we were away and for some of us it simply means that we really hate our jobs.

The internet is full of suggestions on how to deal with this and I have not seen one that said do not go on vacation, so I guess this is part of being an employed adult even if it is an unfortunate one.

Conquering my own mountain

My life started as a complication. I guess my husband was right when he called me complicated when we started dating. Mind you we have known each other for years before we started dating so truthfully me being complicated should not have been a big surprise.

I was born complicated as I started my life with Spina Bifida and back in the ancient world when where I was born that did not mean an easy future and my parents were worried about all the complications that can affect the quality of my life.

Thankfully they raised my like any other normal child and never told me that I can’t do this or I can’t do that and I learned at a very young age to explain my condition. As I grew older the Dr’s continued to tell me of all the issues I would endure, got many warnings with no positive options. But I am a fighter and every time someone told me I will not be able to do something, I just did! It was not always easy and yes required effort on my part and sometimes Costco sized pain medication but I endured anyways. I even gave up and started again a couple of times and I learned to forgive myself during this process and not see these as failures but rather as a challenge to conquer. The last couple of years have been medically challenging but I will continue fighting, and as the Sound of Music song goes “Climb every mountain” I will continue to climb physically and mentally . Last week I made it to Mt. Fuji! There will be more mountains and that’s ok- I will conquer them one mountain and one peak at a time.

How flexible work destroyed work life balance

Once upon a time people would finish their work day, pack up their stuff and go home. There was separation between work and home at least for most of us. Lunch time at work was sacred and you got to eat in peace and when you went home you watched TV, ate dinner with your family or just did whatever worked for you on your off hours. Granted some jobs required you to be on call or have late evenings.

Then came the pandemic and most of us went home. A lot of companies discovered that now they can have meetings galore, there is no need for everyone to be physically in the same space anymore. We can have meetings with people in other countries any time needed. Online meetings were the new god! Don’t get me wrong, not dressing up was a blessing for me and I loved the fact that I could cook when a meeting was boring. I even took advantage of the online all hours format and finally finished my MBA from an international school waking up at 5am for class. 

But what happens when you work for an international company that has meetings all hours – with countries that have 10- 16 hours time differences. Some that I know have meetings scheduled for them at 7am and then again at 9pm or as my friend says, I know when China and India start working as the meets pinging starts. When do employees have a chance to decompress and relax? 

This is not the only problem, employees are expected to be available at all times. If you have small children and don’t mind the weird work hours that is not a problem for you. But what happens with everyone else, the meetings keep being scheduled as everyone is supposedly available, family life is pushed to the side and balance does not exist. 

Some employers are great and respect boundaries but what happens when there are no boundaries. Work life balance does not exist anymore and if anything work and those annoying meet pings on the phone become worse.

Embracing the yoga pants look

I discovered lately that once your kids are grown up and are no longer in the house you are no longer considered a disheveled mom. Apparently at this point, just like a Pokémon you evolve and become just a regular frumpy human being. Technically you haven’t changed, you just no longer have the excuse of why you are disheveled, you are no longer juggling getting kids ready for school, after school activities, grocery shopping or play dates. You have no excuses anymore. 

Well in theory you have no excuses but in reality I can come up with many excuses for my disheveled look. I am only going to the gym or the grocery store, I’m just walking the dog. It’s dark no one knows who I am anyway. See I told you I have excuses galore.

I always admired and was a little jealous of those who are  all put together at 8am,color coordinated and dressed up to the T, a situation that I have to admit I never was in by choice. This is an ability that is really beyond my capabilities and will never be achieved unless I am on my 4th cup of coffee. To those of you who wonder if I look like crap all the time, don’t worry. For  work I dress like a professional. However, once at home my  preferred attire of yoga pants and a ratty t-shirt is back on.  Especially that these days yoga pants have pockets.

When I was younger and childless I was always dressed nice and all put together even in my college years. Somewhere during the first pregnancy I switched the high heels and dressy clothes with comfort and never went back. And now in my 50’s I doubt it will be different.

So today I am owning my frumpy look and even embracing it outside my work hours, but if you see me wearing a velour tracksuit stop me immediately , that is too far gone even for me.

Nepotism and Family Business

The dictionary defines nepotism as the practice among those with power or influence of favoring relatives or friends, especially by giving them jobs. In some cultures it is expected as taking care of your family comes first. And in reality most of us would be happy to help a relative or to make sure our immediate family is well taken care of.

But what happens when your manager is not qualified to do their job as they were only hired because they are a family member? In big corporate type companies you can alway go to HR, but what happens if you work for a small private family company where you feel you have no options.

Some family members are groomed from a young age and go to college to get ready for a future  job in the family business, in other family businesses family members train from a young age and take beginner jobs so they will know all aspects of the business. These types of companies usually thrive as everyone has the goal of the company continuing being successful  after the founders retire. Many of these businesses really care about their employees and see them as vital to the success of the business. The general statistics of successful 2nd generation is 30% and third generation is around 13%. This means that the 2nd generation has a 70% failure rate.  So how does nepotism affect this success or failure? Putting people in managerial positions that they are not fit for just because they are family is probably part of the problem. Most of us know a person that you wonder how they tie their shoes in the morning has a c-suite position in the company. 

Now if a family member is just a plain idiot who is harmless that’s one issue, but what happens when this manger thinks they are above everything and behaves like they are untouchable. This manager can be toxic, abusive or just a bully. We as employees who are under these managers have a problem, I know for myself I would not trust HR. And even if I would dare to open a complaint with HR as being part of a small family business I would be very afraid of retaliation. 

In my opinion I believe part of the responsibility of the founder is to develop an exit strategy with planning a successor based on suitability for the future and in the present actually check before you give a leadership role to someone who is your child, niece or cousin. That is if you really care about your business. 

As the world gets quiet

I saw my audiologist today, we did a hearing test and I have lost more of my hearing. This is news that no one wants to hear, pun intended. I noticed my ears are not functioning as well as they did and that one side was getting even worse. This is new that no one ever wants to hear.

I got in my car and cried, arrived home and continued crying.

To those who have never had a hearing test, you are in a tiny sound proof room with a buzzer in your hand. You are supposed to press a button every time you hear something. But when you have hearing loss you sit in that room and try and try again and still can’t hear anything. And the longer it takes between the sounds you hear the more you  understand that you are in trouble, and then when that time is even longer in that tiny sound proof room you go oh shit! I am in big trouble.This is where the tears started for me.

We don’t always appreciate what we have or understand how our senses are important to our everyday life especially when we are young and think we are invincible, but losing a sense affects us hard. It affects our daily lives, our interactions with other human beings, our jobs  and even how we perceive ourselves when we realize we have a disability and we now have to learn how to deal with our new reality.

After two and a half years from losing my hearing overnight I am still dealing, some days are  better, some days are worse. You go through all the stages of grief and hope acceptance does not mean admitting defeat.

Today I feel defeated, hopefully tomorrow will be better and I will wake up ready to fight!

Beach walks

My husband loves long walks on the beach, yeap really. I know it sounds like a dating app description but he really does  love long walks and he really loves the beach. Luckily for him we are 15 minutes drive to the beach and a 35 minute bike ride (bike ride timing is by his account, definitely not mine). I don’t love long walks on the beach, I just like them. In our family group chat there will be a once a week question from him -anyone down for a beach walk? Every once in a while someone appeases him and joins him.

If you are a romantic, you could ask why don’t you join him? Truthfully, I do enjoy walking especially since our dog loves these walks. The issue is that he is tall with long legs and I am what you consider vertically challenged. Every step he makes is 3,4 steps that I make so even if he tries to walk slowly I still need to catch up. And really that means I have to run. Unfortunately for him I really hate running. Hate it so much that when I broke my foot last year I was happy that my Dr. did not allow me to run. This is funny because I was never a runner.

So how did we solve his long walks on the beach issue? I got him a girlfriend, a lovely 65lb Airedale. Big brown eyes and  loves walks. He has to hold her leash when we walk as this slows him down to do the dog sniffies and this slows him down  enough for me to be able to keep pace and actually  enjoy the walk instead of constantly feeling like I am running a marathon.

Hearing Aid Costs

I am in the market for a new hearing aid. There is nothing wrong with my current one, I have a top of the line one with bluetooth and some other settings that I never use. I am in the market because there is one big issue with hearing aids – they are not water or sweat proof.

Moisture is not a friend to those of us with hearing aids, moisture of any kind is the enemy, it sucks the battery life and we need to make sure to dry out the aids if they get wet. 

If you want to go swimming, boating or walk in the rain that’s a problem, not only that everytime i get in the shower I immediately touch my ears to make sure I have not forgotten to take them out.

Finally one company created a new aid that is waterproof and that’s what  I am shopping for. As there is only one company that has them you probably ask what’s there to shop for, it’s not like i have other options. And here lies my conundrum, my insurance covers aids. I am lucky as most companies do not, however the amount that they cover is not enough for the top of the line model so i have to compromise and choose a lesser quality level. I am lucky that not only do I have some insurance coverage I can also cover the difference between the insurance and the actual cost of the device. But what happens to those who do not have any coverage but can not cover the difference or any device at all. 

Why are those with hearing loss expected to function without aid? Losing your hearing is not only a function of age, many in my support group are young productive adults who have many years ahead of them. Hearing aids do not last forever, they deteriorate and need replacing every couple of years.

Hearing aids are expensive, good hearing aids are very expensive. Insurance coverage is questionable, some do not cover any cost and some cover a little. Most insurance companies cover only a fraction of the true cost. Last week over the counter hearing aids were approved, however hearing aids are not reading glasses, there is no one size fits most. We all have different needs and different settings and one ear is not like the other ear. So even though it is good that they are available over the counter this is a solution only for those who have minimal hearing loss and not for those with moderate to severe hearing loss.

Losing your hearing is not only a function of age, many in my support group are young productive adults who have many years ahead of them. Hearing aids do not last forever, they deteriorate and need replacing every couple of years.

Being a productive citizen and contributing to society is important, having a job is important, being able to participate in everyday life is important, and the ability to hear is a big and integral part of this. Those with hearing loss like me want to have the freedom to choose our professions or to interact with society and the ability to have a good quality hearing aid is an integral part of this. Approving over the counter hearing aids is one step but not the answer. Lowering prices of the aids,encouraging research, competition, creating more companies  &  requiring insurance to cover them is the answer.Why are those with hearing loss expected to function without aid?

Keeping up with old friends

I meet with my lunch group once a month. We have been friends since our kids were in elementary school so we have known each other for over 20 years. We started getting together once a month when our kids graduated Highschool and we realized that we will not get to see each other at drop off, pick up or school events anymore.

These women have been part of my life for many years, we cried together and laughed together. We celebrated when our kids graduated school, when they started college, when they graduated college and now when our kids are in a different stage of life and are starting their own families. This support was essential to our emotional well being during the pandemic and made us realize how much we needed these catch up lunches.

The last couple of years we all became busy again, life tends to do this and it was harder to meet as there was at least every other month of one us exposed to covid. Lately we added a Friday check in text, we text the group a couple of lines on how our week was. This way we are not only in touch but as one of our group members said – it forced her to think about something positive that she had in the past week, an excellent way to start the weekend on a positive note.

Maybe we all need to stop and pause and ask ourselves what was positive in our day, week or month, even if it is something small. I myself am really grateful that these ladies have stuck with me for the last 20 something years.