Your Commitment to Yourself

It’s the last two days of the year and my feed and email is all flooded with New Year resolutions, ads for sport equipment and organization hacks. However, nothing about taking care of yourself and your mental health in the upcoming year.

Granted having an organized house or exercising does help you mentally but these are side effects and not a purpose. Not only that, what will happen when we stop going to the gym or when we realize our house is still messy and none of our goals, achievable or not, have been met?

Instead I propose we commit to take care of our mental health and put ourselves first. The disorganized closet can wait as can the resolution to go to the gym every day. But if for some reason orgnization is your mental health path, by all means commit to it, Marie Kondo your house!

Our goals need to be goals that will not only not set us up for failure but will help us grow and find our inner peace what ever works for you. You might need to take time to see figure out the path to your mental health, so commit to discovering it. Commit to doing something that will make you happy once a week, take an art class, read 10 books during the year, choose some fun activity outside the house, learn macrame or anything that brings you joy and find your purpose.

I am committing to myself to have lunch or dinner with my friends at least twice a month, I will read a book or two each month and yes, I will also continue going to the gym as for me exercising does help my mental state and yes I will have a date breakfast or date night with my spouse at least once a week.  

Self Care Resolution

I have been on vacation for the last week, my office closed for the break. Before I went on vacation I wrote a list of what I should do during my break.  I did tackle some things on my to do list-

  • Took a nap
  • Read two books
  • Had great dinners with my friends
  • Took long walks with my dog

These are all things that I needed to remember for my mental health. We all need to remember that every once in a while we need to take care of ourselves and make ourselves the priority.Self care is one of the most important gifts we can give our loved ones. Someone asked me what gift I gave my husband for what seemed to be our 100th anniversary, I replied – a mammogram.   Take time to care for yourself mentally and physically , as much as work is important, it is not everything. Challenge yourself to make this a priority in the coming year.

Trying New Things- Zumba Edition

Instead of waiting for next week, 2023, to start new things, I decided to start today. You hit the iron when it’s hot! So today I went with a friend to zumba. I have never done zumba before, didn’t want to try zumba before but my friend convinced me and I said fine, let’s see. 

I woke up this morning ready, muscles were warm from walking the dog already and my Shakira hips were ready to shake. To those who don’t know, zumba is like a school playground. There are favorite spots and locations, you have those who like to be in the front next to the instructor, there are those who like to hide in the back because they are uncoordinated. But being in the back means everyone that goes down the stairs or is on the other side of the glass sees you shaking your ass coordinated or not. So choosing a spot is tricky. If you go to the front and you are new you are bound to get stared down, front rows apparently are saved for the regulars. However if you have no clue of what you are doing  and you need to see the instructors movements you really need to be in the front, especially in busy crowded classes. 

Some wear elaborate zumba outfits with full hair and make up done, some wear the necessary sweatshirt around the waist so no one actually sees your ass shaking. I was in my regular yoga and t-shirt gym outfit and was guided by my friend who is a regular and saved me a spot in the second row, talk about pressure! She was asked if she knows me and if I am her friend. I have to say that zumba is not easy, it requires coordination and rhythm. Luckily I have rhythm, coordination not so much. But we had fun, burned some calories and tried a different skill , my body hurts all over and I see a Costco size pain killer container in my future. But I will go again as I have to admit, it really was fun.

Shopping cart mishaps

I went to Costco last week, I usually don’t have a grocery list with me but this time I was organized and not only wrote a list but also remembered to bring it with me.There were plenty of shopping carts available. I parked my shopping cart and turned to the other aisle to get  a product. I turned around and my shopping cart with my list was gone! I really turned my back for less than a minute.

Yes, I could get another shopping cart but my list is what I really wanted. I started  following people with empty carts to see if they stole my cart. My husband thought I was crazy. But stealing someone’s cart is  a serious offense especially when there is a list in it, what kind of person does that! This is the same offense as walking your dog next to a dog who’s taking care of their business instead of waiting patiently for the business to be done.

I did forget to buy some things and will need to go again, not that anyone has to twist my hand to go to the Costco again as it is one of my favorite places to go.But going to Costco before the Holidays is a little crowded and the samples are gone way too quickly.

So I shall return, hold my cart close to me and put my grocery list on my drive and I shall be watching for all those grocery cart mishaps.

Work quiet

The last couple of weeks before the year ends are usually quiet at work, this year it’s even quieter as a lot of people decided to use the short school time between Thanksgiving and Winter break to take an extended vacatation time with their families.

I stayed at work, I just came back from a 12 day Japan vacation and could not justify taking more time off, tempting as it may. Work is quiet. Quiet for me is not good. Quiet is the enemy and not because I am hearing impaired. Quiet means finding ways to keep yourself busy or as my husband says, quiet me is not a good sign, quiet me becomes antsy . Quiet me looks for things to do.

Looking for things to do requires planning, so I start planning, I do not only plan ahead at work, I plan ahead in life. Some people call it New Year’s resolutions. I don’t call them resolutions, I call them a benchmarks. Every couple of months I check my benchmark to see where I succeded, where I failed and where I need to pivot. Sometimes we just forge ahead because this is what we were taught, but occasionally we do need to re evaluate and change the course.

Pivoting is not easy, changing the course is not easy, but I digress. Being mentally bored or not challenged is not easy either, at least not for me.

QA and Mishaps

I recently ordered a big bag of flour from a manufacturer that I ordered in the past. I got my box delivered, but instead of getting four 4lb’s of gluten free flour I received 4 O Cedar mops. I have nothing against mops or O Cedar, but this obviously  is not what I ordered. Turns out that the manufacturer uses a 3rd party for fulfillment, and this fulfillment company has no quality measures. The box I received said it contained my flour and that the box weighs 18 lbs, but I managed to pick up this box with one hand and despite lifting weights at the gym, this was not the case, the box could not have weighed more than half a pound at most. So not only did the fulfillment company not have QA that checks the label description of containment with what they put inside. They also do not check shipping on the fulfillment side or from the  UPS side.

So now we have 3 companies with no QA and mistake upon mistake as someone definitely paid expensive shipping costs for nothing.

Beyond all these obvious mistakes and lack of QA, everyone has an upset customer. I was really waiting to bake and now I am upset. I immediately contacted the manufacturing company and they responded immediately and issued me an apology and a refund, but alas I am still without my flour. So despite customer service actually doing good I am still left feeling cheated, unhappy and flourless!

Decisions, decisions!

It’s the end of the year and we all have to start making decisions again, health plan for next year, 401k deductions, vacations and many more work decisions. However we can not forget our life outside work decisions as well.

Although the lines between our job and private life were a little blurry these last couple of years of work from home, it is time to put some barriers and allow for real work life balance. And that’s a decision I am willing to make. I wrote before on how I am trying to become a recovering workaholic, and I have to admit it is not an easy one. 

My last 6 months were trials and errors of me trying to disconnect and set some boundaries, some days I succeeded and some I did not, and that’s ok as teaching my brain is a work in progress. I discovered that long walks with my Sagey girl  while listening to podcasts has helped. In the beginning it was podcasts related to strategic thinking and business cycles and evolved to other topics that are the complete opposite of business.

So my decision to continue finding balance will continue in 2023 and possibly find a  hobby like macrame might be in order.

The joy of gluten free finds

I was diagnosed with Celiac back when the dinosaurs ruled the earth. Regular stores had absolutely nothing for me and eating out was impossible. I drove 30 minutes to Mrs. Gooch’s just to find something beyond rice cakes. We have grocery stores on almost every corner in my town so driving 30 minutes seemed like a big hassle even if it was a needed one. My husband found a bakery in Los Angeles and would stop there twice a year to get me some bread. 

I used to walk through our local Costco, crying, feeling like I will never be able to buy anything from a normal grocery store and will be doomed to a life of rice, rice cakes and brown rice, barely edible pasta.

Those days are gone, I don’t know when or where eating gluten  free became fashionable, and even though I am GF by need and not by choice, I am thankful. This created a market full of options and choices for my fellow celiacs and gluten intolerant partners in crime.

This weekend I went grocery shopping with my husband to Costco. I was glad to see many gluten free options, several pizza options, snacks, bread, frozen meals, instant pho and soy sauce. 

Those who have no food restrictions might not understand the feeling of finding ready made food you can eat at a mainstream store and not needing to go to a speciality store anymore.

And even though these gf finds are not the healthiest it is still nice to see them available.

Being hearing impaired is not a choice, being a kind courteous person is!

I am a member of many hearing loss groups on facebook, when I lost my hearing they helped a lot with not feeling alone and finding someone who understood my struggle of dealing with losing my hearing overnight.

Most days I am good and I believe I have adapted mostly to my current situation, but we all have our bad days. Days when the ringing in the ear is so loud that it does not matter what setting your hearing aid is on , you can hear absolutely nothing. Days where you can not figure out what people are saying no matter what. These are very frustrating and depressing days and can throw you into a loop.

During the pandemic and even today in some places, there was masking all around & plastic barriers made it hard to hear for most humans but for those with hearing loss made it absolutely impossible, add to that the ability to read lips was gone as well and sometimes even the ability to read the facial expression was gone.

These days medical facilities still require a mask. I always make a point to tell the reception that I am hard of hearing and if they can make sure to let the people who will call me to either say my name louder or to approach me when it’s my appointment time. A lot of people are nice and say yes, sure. But when it comes to actuality, they all forget. 

The weirdest place I had that issue was at the ENT/Audiologist office. You would think that in these surroundings they will be more accommodating or understanding. But no! Music was loud on the TV in the waiting room, no closed captions and receptionists with shields who talk to the computer instead of lifting their heads when they speak to you.

Who needs to adapt? The customer service industry or the hearing impaired person? For the hearing impaired there is not much adaptation, it’s not like you can wake up one morning and decide today I shall hear. Even with my very expensive aids, there are times that I have no clue what someone is saying and I am not going to hide under a rock just because I can’t hear anything.

Customer service industry needs to adapt and workplaces need more training on how to intercat and integrate people who have disabilities as they are part of society.  Talking to people while facing them and not staring at your phone or computer should be taught early, this is a social skill that is important in any situation. If anyone asks you to repeat a sentence, repeat it and do not say “ oh, it doesn’t matter”.

Being hearing impaired is not a choice, being a kind courteous person is!

Job/ career cushioning – a new term for an old practice

I recently saw an article about Job Cushioning, it sounded interesting and I went to research further and discovered it’s a new term for an old concept. Lately they have been creating new terms for everything. I don’t know if they show up on my feed as I am interested in them more or just because what I follow has the latest trends.

The definition for Job Cushioning is looking for a new job while at your current job. Funny, in the old days we were always told that it is easier to find a new job when you still have a job as how else will you be able to explain the employment gap. Quitting or being fired not connected to company wide layoffs was considered bad on your resume and your prospect of finding a new job was not very good.

One of these articles mentioned that it is unethical to find a new job while still at a current place of employment, to this my response was Ha! As long as you don’t use current employment’s resources for finding a new job I believe it is perfectly ethical, especially if there are impending layoffs as most likely will happen according to all the analysts in the next couple of months.

Our main priority at the end of the day is to able to provide for ourselves and our families and to make sure we have back up plans for our future especially in an unstable market.