I quit my previous job after almost five years many years ago. I quit without notice and I did not even give my employer at the time the courtesy of two week’s notice. I was burned out, working in a toxic workplace that had me having PTSD every text message I received from the owner. I saw the owner and his wife several weeks after I quit and had such a big panic attack and that just proved to me how terrible this workplace was.I liked my work, it was fun and challenging. I didn’t like the owner, his ethics and his work practices and definitely did not like the fact that his personal life with ex wife and second wife kept spilling to the workplace and got me stuck in between quite frequently. But as I returned to the workforce after many years as a stay at home mom, my choices were limited and I needed work experience on my resume. Employers looked at my volunteer experience and said great and ignored it.Me quitting without notice was way before the great resignation of the last two years, some employers and workplaces were toxic even before. There have been many articles lately about how you need to quit “nicely”, give your employer transition time and maybe get a good reference from them as well. But reality for some of us might be different. Some workplaces are so hard to endure that the daily panic attacks and the anxiety are not worth it. And at the end of the day we all need to do what we need to do to survive and keep our sanity. I do not regret quitting, I did leave everything for my employer organized and made sure that they will be able to continue functioning, not because he was worth it but because my internal justice mechanism would not let me do it otherwise. So recommendations are great on how to leave a workplace but there are so many reasons why we leave, and in some instances we have to put ourselves first.
Category: Uncategorized
There is no off button!
Living with an autoimmune disease means your life has many ups and downs, living with two means life is like a wacky amusement park ride. Some days and weeks are great and fun and then some are so miserable with many turns and pivots that you just want to hide and disappear.
Those with one autoimmune disease have a 25% of developing an additional disease, it is like a buy one get one free deal. Fun!. I am not even discussing the higher probability of developing a third one, that is like a late night TV infomercial – but wait there is more.
All of these diseases suck, no fun in having any of them and the cost of living with one is expensive. Expensive medication costs, expensive life changes and a heavy cost on our daily lives and the lives of those who live with us. Each one of us has a different coping mechanism that allows us to continue living our everyday lives. I schedule meetings I can not cancel to force me to function, even if I function in minimum capacity.
Now, flare ups are a different thing. Flare ups are like going on a rollercoaster that does 360 degree loops. You know that the 360 ends at some point but while you are upside down it feels like it lasts forever, at least for me. Some think that stress and anxiety create a flare up but when we have a flare up we get stressed and anxious. So what came first? It’s a chicken and an egg story. Functioning with a flare up is so hard and stressful. I especially love it when other people tell me to stop stressing and to calm down. Sure, great idea, I am leaving now to find the off button!
Sleeples
Sleep is good, good sleep is even better. The internet is full of tips on how to have a good night’s sleep, some of these tips are even good and you can apply them easily if you are inclined to do so. One of the tips is not to have a television in the bedroom but watching tv in your pajamas is quite fun, especially if you can fall asleep and the tv has a sleep timer. Another tip is not to have any electronics around, but scrolling on tiktok is entertaining and there are so many funny dog videos out there. But more seriously , ever since people moved their office to home and not having a dedicated office space in your house brought us the issue of having your work space in your bedroom. That is a real problem when you can’t get a mental break as the last thing you see at night and the first thing you see in the morning is that work laptop. Some of us do not have a big house with a dedicated office space that allows us to close the door mentally at the end of our work day. Closing the door mentally is not easy, not from work and not from our everyday life. I really envy those people who can compartmentalize and once they are done with work or have other daily issues they can stop, not worry any more and just sleep peacefully. Mediatitaing is great for some of us however not all of us are able to do it.
But sleeping tips are one thing, what about the bed you sleep in. Mattress and pillow are probably as important as well. Choosing a mattress is not easy, especially when there are two people sharing a bed. Yes there are those split ones but I personally do not like them and I am sure they work for other couples.
Our last three mattresses were all bought online, my husband researched, read all the reviews until he decided on what to order. I gave up, you can’t really try a mattress on your laptop. Unfortunately for him I hated every one of them, and he was not happy with me when I told him that I believe in jail they get better mattresses. Fortunately for us, our mattresses were bought at Costco, which meant we could return them.
Like everything in life, nothing is simple, not even sleep.
My Facebook was hacked this week
My Facebook was hacked this week, there is nothing special about it. I hardly use my Facebook and I very rarely post on it, if anything I only post stuff that is related to my blog. I lost control over my account for several hours, mostly because I don’t go on my Facebook often and because the email I used for the account was my trash email that I rarely check. I would I would have seen the notification that my email and contact information was changed. Definitely an oversight on my side and will not happen again. I spent several late night hours recovering my account successfully and then changing all passwords on all my other accounts and adding as many layers of security that are available now.
I was done with all this at 1am and then took several hours to calm down and decompress as I was extremely angry and that created even more anger and aggravation in me. This anger woke up my internal Liam Neeson as in the Taken movie series, and I am filled with fury and obsession. Or as my husband says there is nothing more worrisome than me with a vendetta.
Despite being a middle aged woman with liberal arts degrees I figured out how to get my account back, find the hackers email (which I assume to be their junk email), track their IP address and block their devices. I have not decided on what to do with this information yet. But I have become a little neurotic, I check everything many times a week and too many during the day now,
Add the extra security to all your accounts, create your recovery codes, make sure your email that is connected to the account is updated and stay vigilante.
My not so green thumb
I love to grow plants, plants do not always love me growing them. In my youth I was very good at growing succulents, primarily because it was hard to kill them. Some of them are miraculously still alive 30 years later but that could be attributed to the fact that when I left my home country my mom took custody of my plants. I was always envious of those who had plants that lasted and decided that at some point in my life I will make it. So I started growing hardy, hard to kill plants with some limited success.
As my motto is to never give up, last year I bought 2 raised beds from Costco. I started with seeds and that had very limited success. I didn’t manage to grow anything beyond a beginner plant. It was nice to see something sprout but it was very disappointing. So I switched strategy and moved to buying starter plants. My focus was on tomatoes, peppers and basic herbs.
The tomatoes grew and so did the peppers, and even more the interest of my neighborly racoon. I managed to eat a couple of tomatoes and maybe a pepper or two before my raccoon co partner took a bite and we were all happy.
This year, I added eggplant with success, parsley, basil and some jalapenos. And I enjoy going out to my patio and using my homegrown herbs and veggies. My Airdale loves my new hobby as well. On Fridays she gets to join me in the car and at the Lowe’s garden center as we look for interesting plants to add to my planters.
Some of us were not born with a green thumb, I am one of these people and every day when I go outside to my patio to survey my plants I am astonished and amazed that they are still alive. My persistence is apparently bigger than my not so green thumb and that makes my happy, so the lesson is not to give up even on the little things.
My Emogi Stone
In July 1799 Napoleon’s army found the Rosetta stone and ever since then hieroglyphs have been interpreted and understood. This was a great moment in history for the human kind and as someone could finally interpret the hieroglyphs in Egypt.
And then in the 2000 we had another monumental discovery, emojis. Ever since then humanity went back and humans started conversing again in pictures, apparently the cave man had it right. I recently received a text from a prospective client of mine on my work phone in response to something I texted them. Instead of a real conversation I received a text back with 5 faces with tears, 10 praying hands and 3 hearts. Mind you, this prospective client is an adult and this was a business text. We have never met each other. As I am an adult who only uses emojis in texts with immediate family and friends, I was a little dumbfounded as I had no clue on how I am supposed to respond to this.
What happened to business writing or texting? A couple of years ago I took a great class through Coursera on Business writing, professional texting etiquette was not part of the course. Neither was interpreting emojis part of the course. I am aware I am a little older and don’t use emojis that often and I do use real words and sentences so I am not always sure what the interpretations for emojis are. I am debating creating an “ Emogi Stone” to help people interpret what other people are texting us or to make sure we are not texting something weird to others.
However, in my own personal humble opinion, there is no room for emojis in business emails and texts unless you work for a software company that creates emojis as part of their business. It seems like we regressed back a couple of hundred of years. So in your personal life go ahead, and if you really feel inclined to send me a business text, please 📧 🔠🙏
Eternal student
Every Tuesday I wake up very early for my language class. It is an international class so people log in literally from all corners of the earth. It is still dark outside, cold and everyone else is still sleeping. Even the dog does not understand what I am doing up at this crazy time. And every Tuesday when the alarm goes off and I get dressed quietly in the dark so I will not wake my husband up, I ask myself – are you crazy, why on earth are you doing this? Go back to sleep.
And yet, after each class I am happy and I smile, as tired as I am, I really enjoy this class even though I am not really good in this class.
As an adult it is fun for me to learn new languages and just learn new skills. I find it really good for my soul as it brings me joy and probably helps combat dementia or alzheimer. Some tell me I am nuts for taking on new study areas. After I finally finished my MBA my husband looked at me and asked when I am going to get my PHD, I said never. But these days I am reconsidering.
We are never too old to learn and yes I finished my masters at 54, but who says I can’t get a PHD by 65, I am not in a hurry and I don’t mind being an old woman when I get my degree. This is part of the fun of doing new things when you are older and have the freedom to follow whatever your heart desires. Macrame, new language, or anything else that suits me at the time.
And if waking up in the dark, logging in to a class with people from all around the world makes me happy albeit tired, great. I shall continue, who knows maybe I did find my new calling as the eternal student.
Jumping in puddles
There is something fun about jumping in rain puddles, unexplainable it’s just fun. You see kids doing it all the time, jumping and splashing all around. Just pure fun. As adults, we don’t do this so much. I in fact hate to get my feet and socks wet so I used to avoid puddles like crazy.
Technically living in southern california kinda helped, rain is not really big here and we have had a drought for the last several years. But not this year, we had rain and rain and more rain. It’s March 22nd and we still have more heavy rains coming. We had so much rain this year that we surpassed Seattle.
Many years and a dog ago I bought rain boots at Costco, black rain boots with colorful polka dots on them. I didn’t get to use them much because rain is not really big here. Last winter I didn’t get to wear them even once. I broke my foot, courtesy of my dog. Not only did I not get to wear my rain boots, I hardly got to wear any real shoes. When I got these boots my husband thought I was crazy, my kids might have thought I was crazy even the dog might have thought so and yet I still wore them to walk the dog and I was happy.
We went on a trip to Japan this past November and the weather was mostly great except for one day. We had a tour at an old style village called Shirakawa-a and it rained non stop, we got completely soaked including our feet, socks and shoes. The tour bus had nice warmers underneath the seats so we could dry our feet. And even though we got wet, it was fun and we used a hair dryer to dry out the shoes later when we got back to the hotel. This experience reminded me that it’s not so bad to get your feet wet although it would have been better if I had waterproof boots.
These days in the rain I walk in the puddles and have lots of joy when I do it. I am not worried about getting my socks wet when the dog keeps looking for a spot on the wet grass to do her business and when we walk on the sidewalk I don’t shy away from those rainy muddy water puddles.
My take from this is we can always find joy in simple actions like jumping in puddles but the other take is that it’s easier, less stressful and funner to do things when you are simply prepared or when you have your polka dot rain boots on!
The true judgment of character is how we treat other human beings.
I partially work in a front facing customer support job. Every once in a while we have that one customer that we all scratch our heads and do not believe they are real. We are a multicultural workplace, we are all multilingual and most of us speak more than 3 languages, so we are all fluent in ,most of the bad worse used.
We had a customer who we could not assist with their request. We explained why and even spoke to the customer’s husband on the phone explaining everything. The husband was polite and understood where we were coming from. The wife was a different case, in the presence of her son she started cursing the office in her native language, which most of us understand and described us as having the oldest profession on earth. The words she used were very crude and yes, she thought we did not understand her and we continued to smile politely while enduring all the insults.
What did this customer get out of this, absolutely nothing. Besides venting her frustration in a very extremely poor manner, he taught her child that it is ok to abuse and mistreat customer service people, definitely taught him a word or two that he did not need to learn at his age. Did she achieve anything, nothing at all. We all remember her now and like any business we have the right to refuse service.
The big picture is why do people treat customer service in this way? When has rude and crude behavior become the acceptable norm.We have noticed more mistreatment especially after the pandemic. People have become more impatient, rude and expect everyone to answer them asap if you can not. I was always taught that if you treat people nicely you will be treated nicely back, the old saying – you get more flies with honey, still stands true in my opinion. And just because you treat a server, cashier or anyone else in a rude manner does not make you better than them. There is no justification for rude behavior and being an asshole
The true judgment of character is how we treat other human beings.
I hate daylight saving time!
Daylight saving time started yesterday and I am not happy, I had work yesterday so having to adjust to the one less hour of sleep was imminent. I love having light later in the day but adjusting to this time change takes me a couple of days, my body takes this one measly hour difference very seriously. There were several articles on how to get adjusted better, so for the last couple of days I followed the advice and got up an hour early but as expected I was also tired early.
Daylight savings would probably be a great idea if I was a farmer but I am not, I’m just a paper pusher who likes to sleep and doesn’t like her circadian rhythm messed with. So even after day two of this time change I am not happy, instead I am tired and highly caffeinated.And I am not alone, the Monday after daylight saving starts is called Sleepy Monday and for a good reason, it is the most sleep deprived day of the year. So how does this help me? It simply doesn’t. I worked on day one of time change so even a nap was not in my cards and again I am working today and the rest of the week so there is still no nap in my near future. I shall be tired and possibly grouchy for the rest of the week, at least that is my plan. Don’t say I did not warn you!
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