Category: Tales from the left ear

The Importance of Patient Communication in Healthcare.

Or Bruised, Bandaged and Ignored!

This morning, I had my routine monthly blood tests. I get these quite often and know my body—and my veins, which are sometimes tricky. When I arrived at my appointment, I noticed a new phlebotomist. As usual, I explained that my veins tend to roll and that one side is better for drawing blood.

Unfortunately, my advice went unheard. Not only did he overlook my concerns about my veins, but he also failed to address my need for clear communication. I had told him that I am hard of hearing and need him to speak directly to me instead of turning his back.

I work in a fast-paced customer service job, speaking with many people every day. At the end of a long day, all I want is to remove my hearing aids and enjoy the silence. Having spent most of my life in customer service, I understand the challenges of balancing customer demands with providing quality service. But I also know that true service goes beyond just hearing; it’s about truly listening.

Dealing with an invisible disability comes with unique challenges. Listening to people costs nothing but can make a huge difference. Today’s experience highlighted a gap in how some service providers train their staff—not just in technical skills, but in valuing patients as individuals. It felt as though I was just another patient being processed through a conveyor belt.

By the time I left, both of my arms were sore, bruised, and bandaged. But what left the deepest mark was the feeling of being ignored.

Adapting to Hearing Loss: My Personal Journey

At my last Pilates class, my instructor told me that I am quick to follow directions. I didn’t think much of it at first—after all, I’m naturally fast. But as I reflected on it, I realized that my speed isn’t about being prepared. It’s because I can’t hear.

You’d think that losing my hearing, wearing hearing aids, and not enjoying background music in a class would make me slower to follow directions. In fact, it’s the opposite.

I suffer from SSHL, or sudden sensorineural hearing loss, which took away my hearing almost overnight in 2020. It happened during the height of the pandemic, and securing an in-person doctor’s appointment was difficult. By the time I saw an ENT, my hearing loss was permanent.

Losing my hearing isn’t just about the absence of sound; it involves my brain, too. Comprehending what’s being told to me, processing information, and responding appropriately all require more effort and concentration than they did before.

We all cope with losing a vital sense in different ways. Some retreat into themselves, others embrace their new reality, and some, like me, find ways to adapt. After the shock wore off and I realized that my life would never be the same, depression set in. I was consumed with fear about how I would continue living. It’s hard to work in customer service when you can’t hear what people are saying, especially when masks and barriers were mandatory.

At first, I avoided crowds, restaurants, and most social interactions. I thought I was doing the right thing, but in reality, I was isolating myself. As an introvert, I found it strangely comforting to be alone. But then I realized I still enjoyed being around people. So, I developed a kind of “superpower”—anticipating what people were about to say or do. Not being able to hear forced me to watch and observe. I learned to read body language, facial expressions, and subtle cues. In noisy environments, I became a silent observer, finding the smallest gestures fascinating and, oddly enough, entertaining.

When my Pilates instructor complimented me on my quickness, I just smiled. People don’t need to know that my brain is constantly processing, predicting, and observing. It’s my way of adapting to a world I can no longer hear in the same way.

We all have our coping mechanisms, this is mine and I hope that everyone finds their own way.

Nothing makes sense

What happens when you lose your hearing? Do you suddenly get a superpower ? A brand new sense or an enhanced one. They say that when you lose a sense, another sense gets stronger to compensate. When I lost my hearing there were no sudden bells, whistles or trumpets announcing my new strengthened alternate sense. Most likely because I could not hear them.   Nothing exciting happened, I did not become spiderman and the only superpower I got was the on and off button on my hearing aids. Hence my lovely pair of hearing aids, nice expensive silver colored. Not even a fun blue color to match my eyes.

My sense of smell did increase slightly  but I am not sure that this is a good thing considering I have a dog and a grand dog.  While I did loose a major sense I did gain observation, not by choice but by necessity. Since I can’t always follow a conversation I started to pay more attention to facial expressions and body language. You learn a lot from watching people and standing on the sidelines. In big crowds and noisy places it is very hard for me to hear, so standing on the sidelines was out of practicality. You see if someone is uncomfortable, happy, deceptive and you start getting a sense of what they actually think and feel from their body language. For me it is still a work in progress to understand everything I see but this is a welcome challenge and a it is little entertaining.

You also learn a lot from looking at people’s faces when they speak to you, surprisingly many are not comfortable with people looking at them directly. Might be that eye contact with humans was lost during the pandemic zoom era. But as a hearing impaired person it is a valuable tool as I am learning to read lips.

My husband would say that despite my new observation skills I still do not pay attention to what he says, but in all fairness I didn’t pay attention before I lost my hearing so technically it’s a habit and not a choice and maybe a tiny superpower. I took me 35 years together to perfect this skill.

Being Rude to Customer Service People

There is an expression that goes something along the lines of – you get more flies with honey than vinegar. I am in the customer service business and about a quarter of my time I am customer facing. I  am always very surprised when people start yelling or are rude to us in the customer service industry.

It seems that it even got worse after the stay at home orders were lifted. People come in and immediately are rude and disrespectful. Yelling, raising their tones and thinking that will get them a better deal, a discount or just better service. Truthfully, I never understood that point of view.

You are supposed to treat people nicely, from my own experience, if you are nice you will be treated nicely back.  And from my point of view, if you are nasty to me there is no way on earth I will go above and beyond to help you no matter how big a bully you are. I had a customer come in yesterday and they requested something that does not exist anymore, we tried to explain that it does not exist anymore and we got yelled at, her tone was raised and she became more and more loud. Other customers in the office were looking at her as she continued to yell .

What this customer forgot besides that being an ass hole does not really make people want to help you  was that some of us live in the same community we work at, that means you will see me at Target, Costco and Pilates class. There is also a chance that you or your spouse work in something related to what my spouse is doing or to one of my many connections.

People think that just because some of us work in customer service we are uneducated, not connected and not worth being treated politely and thus show their true color. Those who I work with all have masters degrees and chose our industry for various reasons, they are all very smart and educated but even if they were not being rude to them is still no excuse.

Now, when I encounter these ass holes around town, I always look at them directly and smile. It is nice to see how uncomfortable they are once they realize who I am , but it would have been better if they actually behaved like nice human beings in the first place.

Being hearing impaired is not a choice, being a kind courteous person is!

I am a member of many hearing loss groups on facebook, when I lost my hearing they helped a lot with not feeling alone and finding someone who understood my struggle of dealing with losing my hearing overnight.

Most days I am good and I believe I have adapted mostly to my current situation, but we all have our bad days. Days when the ringing in the ear is so loud that it does not matter what setting your hearing aid is on , you can hear absolutely nothing. Days where you can not figure out what people are saying no matter what. These are very frustrating and depressing days and can throw you into a loop.

During the pandemic and even today in some places, there was masking all around & plastic barriers made it hard to hear for most humans but for those with hearing loss made it absolutely impossible, add to that the ability to read lips was gone as well and sometimes even the ability to read the facial expression was gone.

These days medical facilities still require a mask. I always make a point to tell the reception that I am hard of hearing and if they can make sure to let the people who will call me to either say my name louder or to approach me when it’s my appointment time. A lot of people are nice and say yes, sure. But when it comes to actuality, they all forget. 

The weirdest place I had that issue was at the ENT/Audiologist office. You would think that in these surroundings they will be more accommodating or understanding. But no! Music was loud on the TV in the waiting room, no closed captions and receptionists with shields who talk to the computer instead of lifting their heads when they speak to you.

Who needs to adapt? The customer service industry or the hearing impaired person? For the hearing impaired there is not much adaptation, it’s not like you can wake up one morning and decide today I shall hear. Even with my very expensive aids, there are times that I have no clue what someone is saying and I am not going to hide under a rock just because I can’t hear anything.

Customer service industry needs to adapt and workplaces need more training on how to intercat and integrate people who have disabilities as they are part of society.  Talking to people while facing them and not staring at your phone or computer should be taught early, this is a social skill that is important in any situation. If anyone asks you to repeat a sentence, repeat it and do not say “ oh, it doesn’t matter”.

Being hearing impaired is not a choice, being a kind courteous person is!

Hearing Aid Costs

I am in the market for a new hearing aid. There is nothing wrong with my current one, I have a top of the line one with bluetooth and some other settings that I never use. I am in the market because there is one big issue with hearing aids – they are not water or sweat proof.

Moisture is not a friend to those of us with hearing aids, moisture of any kind is the enemy, it sucks the battery life and we need to make sure to dry out the aids if they get wet. 

If you want to go swimming, boating or walk in the rain that’s a problem, not only that everytime i get in the shower I immediately touch my ears to make sure I have not forgotten to take them out.

Finally one company created a new aid that is waterproof and that’s what  I am shopping for. As there is only one company that has them you probably ask what’s there to shop for, it’s not like i have other options. And here lies my conundrum, my insurance covers aids. I am lucky as most companies do not, however the amount that they cover is not enough for the top of the line model so i have to compromise and choose a lesser quality level. I am lucky that not only do I have some insurance coverage I can also cover the difference between the insurance and the actual cost of the device. But what happens to those who do not have any coverage but can not cover the difference or any device at all. 

Why are those with hearing loss expected to function without aid? Losing your hearing is not only a function of age, many in my support group are young productive adults who have many years ahead of them. Hearing aids do not last forever, they deteriorate and need replacing every couple of years.

Hearing aids are expensive, good hearing aids are very expensive. Insurance coverage is questionable, some do not cover any cost and some cover a little. Most insurance companies cover only a fraction of the true cost. Last week over the counter hearing aids were approved, however hearing aids are not reading glasses, there is no one size fits most. We all have different needs and different settings and one ear is not like the other ear. So even though it is good that they are available over the counter this is a solution only for those who have minimal hearing loss and not for those with moderate to severe hearing loss.

Losing your hearing is not only a function of age, many in my support group are young productive adults who have many years ahead of them. Hearing aids do not last forever, they deteriorate and need replacing every couple of years.

Being a productive citizen and contributing to society is important, having a job is important, being able to participate in everyday life is important, and the ability to hear is a big and integral part of this. Those with hearing loss like me want to have the freedom to choose our professions or to interact with society and the ability to have a good quality hearing aid is an integral part of this. Approving over the counter hearing aids is one step but not the answer. Lowering prices of the aids,encouraging research, competition, creating more companies  &  requiring insurance to cover them is the answer.Why are those with hearing loss expected to function without aid?

The sound of silence 10/1/22

This morning i got  in the car to go to the gym,i turned on the ignition and the radio started playing and  the song that played was the Sound of Silence. Those who know me are aware that I lost my hearing overnight somewhere in the beginning of the pandemic, I went to bed hearing and woke up to silence, well almost silence, the tinuutis that was bothering me for several days was still there. In the beginning of my hearing loss journey this song would make me cry, cry for the silence, cry from understanding I will not be able to hear again , cry from the need to adapt to a new reality that I did not choose for myself.

Silence has a sound, even quietness has a sound. When I wake up every morning before I put my hearing aids in, the world is silent, kinda, since as the song goes silence does have a sound.

Somedays the silence is difficult, it reminds me of what i can’t anymore and what will never be my normal again, what i have lost and what i will miss in the future. Other times the silence is welcomed. The world is a very noisy place. All this noise causes listening fatigue as hearing with hearing aids is not easy on the brain, it requires extra work and some days my head hurts like no tomorrow. These days the hearing aids are  removed the instant I enter the car and the silence in the car is just what I need. 

My Superpower.

The last couple of years there were many movies about people with superpowers, great fantasy escape movies and I’m sure we all at one point wanted a superpower, it seemed like fun.
But what is our superpower in everyday life, a friend asked me that this week and I had to stop and think as we were talking about our professional life but truthfully we need a power that encompasses all our life,
Listening is a skill, it is not the same as hearing. Listening means you are an active participant in a conversation and yet many mistakenly think that if we hear, we are listening as well.
I thought so as well and then one night I lost my hearing,
 I woke up with just ringing in my ears and nothing else. What no one told me was that hearing aids are not glasses, although I have a very good pair with the latest technology, I don’t hear like before, crowded places are a nightmare, masks are terrible for those of us who are hearing impaired.
But, this forced me to pay attention, it takes a lot of effort to read body language and actually listen to what someone tells you and I gained a superpower! I can’t fly, i can’t change time but i am present and i am a much better listener than before my hearing loss,
My superpower is being present in a conversation, the super power of observation and the ability to actually listen.