Category: Self help

Listening to your body

We always say that we don’t have time to be sick but truthfully no one has time to be sick or really wants to be sick. That’s usually when the universe finds us and shows us how much it really cares about our time line. This week it’s my turn, I postponed going to the doctor  and gave myself many excuses of why it’s not a big deal. Of course I ended up with antibiotics and even more medical procedures that will take more of my  time this week. I should have known better and  listened to my body, for sure. I am after all a grown adult.  

But I guess even  I don’t listen to my own advice. My first inclination was to be upset with myself as  I just postponed the inevitable or probably made my condition worse . I actually did make it worse and my dr was  not very happy with me. So now  the question is what have I learned from this week? For starters I need to Listen to my body  and commit to taking better care of myself. Not only for me but for my family as well. I should also practice what I preach.

Finding time for taking time off

It is very easy to delay time off and  vacations, telling yourself you are very busy right now and postpone fun activities. God knows I have found many excuses before – I have deadlines at work, this is not the right time, it’s the end of the quarter or year and many more excuses. But when is the right time really? It seems like when we become adults with full time jobs there  is never really a right time to take  a vacation or sometimes even just a day or two off.

I know some people with unlimited PTO and  from what I hear these unlimited PTO people take the least time off. I have a limited amount of time off, it is not small at all but still limited and I get to transfer only a small amount of vacation days to the next calendar year.

Time off is important, we all need it. We need time to refresh, clear our heads and do things outside of our professional life for ourselves and our families. Weekend breaks are really not enough, at least not for me. 

Although my time off is limited to specific times during the year, times that are not flexible and do not always allow me to get the best rates for travel, I still choose to take my vacation days and have some fun. I even stopped taking my laptop with me as I learned to let go and trust my team to cover for me (this was a big issue for me as a recovering workaholic).

Something happened in the last couple of years that made clear what my priorities should be: family,  friends , health and time off for fun. Health I can’t really control but everything else I can.

I can not only make sure I take care of myself but take care of my work team as well.

And since no time off makes employees burn out, it is very important for us as not only to take care of ourselves but as leaders and managers to make sure our team gets time off as well.

I read somewhere that employees don’t quit jobs, they quit bosses. Not sure how true that is for everyone who quits, but having managers that truly care about their employees’ life balance , happiness and yes, their time off is, should be part of managing a great team.

Keeping meetings on track

Today is what I call meeting  Thursday day,  our first monthly all staff meeting of the new year.  I hate meetings.It’s not that I don’t like meeting, I really dislike big all hand meetings. They usually drag on forever or what seems like forever. There is always someone who likes to hear their voice more than actually listen and collaborate and quite frankly they are usually boring after the first 5 minutes.  If we are home on zoom at least we can do something when we lose focus but what can you do when forced to sit in an actual meeting where we can’t hide. Maybe there is something positive for zoom meetings after all.

Thankfully the meeting was on zoom, however I had to present and lead part of it which meant I actually had to  pay attention.  So when we planned this meeting to avoid all the issues  I hate about meetings we decided on parameters- we limited the meeting time to a max of one hour. This forced us to focus on the most important issues and not to wander off. We also decided on the topics ahead of time and put everything in clear bullet points on a shared screen so everyone can see and for us not to lose focus and if we did then one of the meeting leaders would steer everything back on the right track. And the most important for the meeting leaders, we did it just before lunch and made sure to be hungry so we will finish in a timely manner  and we were conscious of other people’s lunch time. I know this might seem weird when planning meetings, but we found that this  helps us with keeping meetings on point. I am not advocating for anyone to go to meetings hungry, I love food, but this is a method that works for us and I am sure everyone has their own guidelines for keeping meetings effective, that is unless they love meetings or the sound of their own voice.

Tales from the left ear January 2023

Just because some of us are different does not make us worse than someone else. There are stigmas for being hearing impaired, we are old, we are mentally challenged, we are not as intelligent and we have selective hearing and these are just some of them. 

Hearing aids come in ugly colors, there are no fun ones probably because the manufacturers think that we want to hide them as well. My hairdresser asked if she needed to cut my hair so no one would see them. I don’t hide my hearing aids, I love my hearing aids as they allow me to function but I do wish they were blue or sparkly purple. I dont hide them at all and wear a ponytail most of the time.  I don’t hide my hearing aid but it is not obvious to the general public as mine are small. So when I talk to new people I explain my hearing aids and that you need to look at me when you speak. 

Sometimes people are weird, I had a person then go to my ear and yell straight in my ear, needless to say that this hurt like hell and most likely I will not interact willingly with that person again. The other response I usually get is how did I lose my hearing and when I explain that a virus attacked my ear, they seem to back away thinking this is infectious. Of course I have those who just tell me how sorry they are for me. Again people are weird. People tell me I am very well adjusted for someone with this loss, but then again I am an eternal optimist although even I have my good and bad days.

I am different, I am not better or worse, just different!

Starting the cleaning process

Our garage has been a mess since the great downstairs flood of 2019. We had a pipe leak that destroyed the first floor of the house and raised our standard of living as we were relegated to only using our 2nd floor.  And as much as we enjoyed the “open concept” living of our first floor which included  open walls everywhere, we were very excited the fixing up was completed just before the pandemic started we had the stay at home orders.

The only thing that we have not gotten to organize was the garage, during the remodel we moved all our furniture and belongings to the garage. When we started to put the house back together we brought only the most important things back and  donated a lot of household items since  who really  needs 20 serving platters.

But for some reason  we never cleared the garage completely and instead of using the garage for the two cars like it was intended, the garage has become a one car garage with a side full of stuff we have not organized yet and have no memory of what is in the boxes anymore.

I promised my husband for the last three years  that as soon as the California heat dies down I will start Marie Konding the garage, unfortunately or fortunately I have been using the same excuse for the last three years as well as why I never got to clean it.

Truthfully, there is so much stuff there that it is overwhelming and I could never  figure out where to start, so today my son and I decided to tackle two boxes. He helped me primarily cause he was looking for the weights we haven’t seen in ages, but I did not care what the reason was I just jumped in and said let’s start.

We succeeded  kinda, we cleaned 3 boxes and filled the trash cans with trash and there is a little more room in our packed garage. I see this as an accomplishment! And as I decided that from now on I will celebrate any accomplishment, big, small or tiny, I will be celebrating this one and maybe I will be inspired to actually complete  this cleaning project (I would have added pictures, but that would be really embarrassing).

Being Rude to Customer Service People

There is an expression that goes something along the lines of – you get more flies with honey than vinegar. I am in the customer service business and about a quarter of my time I am customer facing. I  am always very surprised when people start yelling or are rude to us in the customer service industry.

It seems that it even got worse after the stay at home orders were lifted. People come in and immediately are rude and disrespectful. Yelling, raising their tones and thinking that will get them a better deal, a discount or just better service. Truthfully, I never understood that point of view.

You are supposed to treat people nicely, from my own experience, if you are nice you will be treated nicely back.  And from my point of view, if you are nasty to me there is no way on earth I will go above and beyond to help you no matter how big a bully you are. I had a customer come in yesterday and they requested something that does not exist anymore, we tried to explain that it does not exist anymore and we got yelled at, her tone was raised and she became more and more loud. Other customers in the office were looking at her as she continued to yell .

What this customer forgot besides that being an ass hole does not really make people want to help you  was that some of us live in the same community we work at, that means you will see me at Target, Costco and Pilates class. There is also a chance that you or your spouse work in something related to what my spouse is doing or to one of my many connections.

People think that just because some of us work in customer service we are uneducated, not connected and not worth being treated politely and thus show their true color. Those who I work with all have masters degrees and chose our industry for various reasons, they are all very smart and educated but even if they were not being rude to them is still no excuse.

Now, when I encounter these ass holes around town, I always look at them directly and smile. It is nice to see how uncomfortable they are once they realize who I am , but it would have been better if they actually behaved like nice human beings in the first place.

Hearing Aids Cost

My left ear has gotten a new hearing aid, I love the new aid. Everything is clearer, it is water proof so I don’t have to panic when I enter the shower or be afraid to walk in the rain anymore. Or even take them off at the beach or pool and not be able to communicate with others while at the beach.

My last couple of vacations were not as easy ever since I lost my hearing. At the beach or the pool, I took the hearing aids off and was disconnected from the world around me. When we went on a boat ride I was so worried they would get wet that I didn’t wear them at all and made sure to put them in a waterproof bag. 

I am glad technology finally caught up and people with hearing loss can function better now in more situations, but the cost of this catching up is a lot. These hearing aids are expensive and insurance companies cover a fraction if they cover anything at all. We are talking between $3000 to $5000 and these aids need to be replaced every couple of years. This is not an expense that is trivial. A friend asked me a while ago what did my husband get me for our anniversary and my reply was new hearing aids.

Unfortunately those with moderate to severe hearing loss can not use the over the counter cheaper aids so that is not a solution. Costco has a nice selection of hearing aids but not from all the companies and not for all the devices available. 

 I believe that just like pre existing conditions were  outlawed from being denied insurance coverage, there needs to be a movement to add hearing aid coverage to regular insurance.  

Adding some fun

I didn’t watch the world cup games, the sports gene skipped me completely. If you asked me about my favorite sport I would reply with: drinking coffee, sadly there is no coffee drinking event  in the olympics.The only sport I might watch is Curling. The broom sweeping has always been fascinating to me and I often wonder if using a roomba will  have the same effect on that sliding stone as the sweeping of the broom. This really intrigues  me, do these curling athletes practice at home by sweeping and mopping their floors? I know I am boring and a little weird.

We established that sports are not  my thing. I don’t have a favorite sports team or a favorite event and I don’t think I ever stopped on one of the many sports channels on my TV. 

For some reason I caught the Senegalese soccer team warming up before their soccer team and they were dancing, yes dancing. This looked like so much fun and I actually paid attention to the team, not to the soccer game. I am sure the team was nervous before the game as I understand the world cup is a big thing. They were having so much fun and had such big expressions of joy on their faces and I realized, dancing probably calmed their nerves. 

There is more than one way to get ready for a major event, either sports, a final exam, a meeting or an important presentation – we don’t always have to be 100% serious. We can practice and prepare and then just dance to our hearts delight. I am not suggesting  dancing in the office in front of everyone unless you really want to, but having a little fun does help with all the seriousness our life has and maybe we can burn a calorie or two as well in the process.

When you finally have weather

We have been having some weird weather in california lately, we actually are experiencing a winter. I know, shocking! I guess this is payback for the great weather we had on Christmas day when the rest of the country was freezing. I knew  posting those short sleeve pictures will come back to haunt us.

Yes, we need the rain as we have had a drought for the last couple of years. But as we were on  day10th of the rain with no end in sight it really was starting to affect my doggy and me. I am originally from a country with cold winters and extremely hot and humid summers, so living in California for me is great. It’s either t-shirt weather or t -shirt with a cardigan weather. I do have some rain coats but their primary purpose is to look cute.

I was starting to get Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), this is common in places where sunlight is limited, places with real winter and not so much in California where we have lots and lots of sun and natural vitamin D. Even if it was real or perceived, so much rain and clouds is not good for my mental health plus I really hate being cold.

I keep thinking about Dr Suess -The cat in the hat. I wonder if he had the same dreary days that we were having. The sun does not shine and it’s definitely too wet to play, but as opposed to him I am not writing a book about it, I am just complaining about the rain!

We got sun yesterday and the next couple of days as well, so for now I am just going to enjoy it!

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My support group

I had a fun day today, I finally had a fun day with my close friends. We  drove to the  big city, had a great brunch and had a great time all around. But the best time we had was not at brunch or sightseeing, it was actually when we were stuck in a traffic jam for two hours.

For two hours we spoke honestly and openly and it was great, most importantly we actually listened to each other without judgment. We figured out we haven’t had time together like this in a couple of years. Before the pandemic we traveled together and saw each other  frequently, but somewhere during the pandemic we didn’t get together as much as we could and when we did it was  with our spouses and families as this was our covid bubble.

I didn’t realize how much I needed our girl time until today. We tend to forget how much we need our close friends and the emotional support we provide them and they provide us. They say that those with close friends have healthier and better lives. These amazing women are the ones that when they see I can’t figure out what the conversation is around me (I have severe hearing loss) tell me what’s going on and make sure that with all my food allergies I have something to eat. These women were my support when I lost my hearing, broke my foot and were my support through all my other mishaps and I am happy they are in my life.

I came home with renewed  energy and the feeling that with their support I can handle anything else the universe throws my way.